Q-day 21 And the world goes onwards....

Twenty one days in quarantine! I am a little bit exhausted from my first frustrated day of not knowing I would end up inside an isolation room to being told I was not positive to being to weak to make my own way downtown.

The world has just gone on without considering what some of us are doing. There are many who have real health issues and are laying in hospitals dying. There are those in homes enjoying the closeness of the end of the world era that most don't get a chance to actually sit there and hug their cat or child.

For the rest of us, it is frustration. Do we have something contagious, are we at risk and are others going to die because we were not warned as the others?

I have had to keep to myself, only speaking to some on the phone. Waiting until the knock on the door, to collect  my box of food. They are even not including the essential bottle of water, something necessary for those of us with respiratory problems.

The air outside smells different. The taste of my coffee is not pleasant anymore. The constant drain of the sinus from the enclosed ventilation which includes cigarettes' smoking. I want out of here!

But what would I do? There are no places to go such as the beach or parks, those have been closed down. No one can go to church, I had to download several different services for the week of Resurrection.

The world has just gone on by, with some of us still stuck with now way out. Continuous symptoms despite rest but without the heavy breathing problems I had in the fall. Now I am just miserable, I want to go have coffee and have it taste right, I want to go for a walk on the beach, I want to see the ocean or the sky and I want to sit down and speak to a friend of my choice.

Where did all the real relatives go instead of those who always show up in times of trouble in order to benefit but will not be there when one needs them to know you are in sad times.

I remember some of the people listed as having died, such as the janitor who returned my purse left behind at the police station in NY but  not in the lost and found, just sitting next to a bench. The charity worker who showed up where I was seeking medical treatment and allowed myself to go through a rehousing situation to end up like everyone else with no place to go and now one of those with no housing.

Why was she chasing a ball? I grew up on the water and remember how fast a canoe especially can be turned over by a bully. I even remember being taken to the Chelsea hospital when I was very little to visit someone important to always be taken through the nursery to look at the newborns because my mother was expecting a new baby and everyone wanted me to understand that with its arrival, the world would be moving onwards.

I guess the point is not to be left behind. My baby sister was sweet and naïve. She dis not last long enough to learn to read and write or go to her first dance. She was our little princess, my  mother and I argued over but never got over loosing.