Mourning

We are a nation of mourners.

The Act of Sorrow.

An outward sign of showing sorrow such as black clothes.

A period of time when grief is shown.

We have all now experienced grief, sorrow or death.

We have lived through the Pandemic.

We have survived mass shootings.

We have even watched wars unfold on television.

We have gone through the grief stages of losing a President we might have liked or hated.

We have all been waiting for the Queen to die and her son to take over.

We have even seen our favorite movie stars fail and die on us. 

Some of s have even lost a pet or two in our lives.

Some of us have seen neighbors lifted into ambulances with covers over their faces.

Another dead body was removed from my premises this weekend.

I came out to see two police cars with their lights flashing and no sirens.

It is a sign of the pandemic, another dead person was found inside a room.

What can we do?

We all have worn our masks and some of us have been vaccinated.

But none of us can keep our neighbors from getting sick and dying.

It is not our fault but the fault of the environment.

Another school shooting occurred.

It was at a small town I recognized.

It should not have happened.

The police were not prepared nor were the parents.

Who is to blame?

Those who take the actions.

Assault weapons should not be for the common people.

Hunting rifles and protective handguns, perhaps for those who can trust themselves.

Weapons of war belong in bunkers.

We have been experiencing one more war.

When the camera came to the Civil war, the communities were shocked.

There had always been artists who drew what was happening.

But the camera made it more real somehow.

Now it is live television with satellite connections.

It is sad to watch and sickening to access.

It is never going to be the same world.

Watching others die in front of you for real.

And then this is what communities have always dealt.

Either be disease, famine or war.

Death in front of them.

Today was a day of mourning for the United States.

Memorial day is the day we remember all those who have died in wars.

Many have forgotten the days when this was despised by many Americans.

War had become unpopular and the protest caused even more deaths to occur.

Now War is popular.

People are joining up just to be part of one.

Even if they are on the wrong side.

As in this current scrimmage which does not have a different answer.

A popular hero but the villain might have a point.

We are all saddened to see the shock of the war.

The reason however is not gone beyond the freedom of the neighbors the hero wont give up.

While the villain was once our hero and gained our hearts in his removal of the Soviet system.

A day of mourning has passed with the President laying a wreath on the grave of the soldiers.

After a day of his wife laying roses at a school yard shooting.

This a week after a shopping center was visited by them as well.

And the Vice President has been busy visiting the little war in the East.

When is it going to end?

Only when it does.

We all hope those with guns will stop showing up at schools and shopping centers.

We also hope the politicians know what they are doing when they begin to throw blame.

Some of us mourn for our own loved ones.

For my mother it was a long process with her cancer.

Should she have gone first?

Then  her parents and husband might have been saved the aggrevation and harm they suffered.

What it have helped them in the end?

To loose a child first?

At any age, for any reason.

Some of us wish she had not been so miserable in life.

Some of us mourn others who are not even related to us.

Such as the Queen who has lost her husband.

She has been a mainstay in all these decades.

At least there is the queen to turn to in times of trouble.

Now she is old, bent, and unable to walk.

Her son is 70 years old and going bald.

His son is still handsome but with a spoiled wife who deserves nothing at all.

His adorable kids should have a different life, then watching thier world coming to an end.

And then there are the many actors and other celebrities.

They have been important to us.

Even the ones we don't know.

Thier deaths will make a difference in our entertainment.

It is those who are still alive and we can not get to whom we mourn the most.

Not those close at home, whom we care for on a daily basis.

Or those we watch on the news who are going to be gone one day such as Prince Philip.

It is those whom we care about from a distance and may not ever see again due to circumstances such as a Pandemic that brings an end to everything or a war we cant enter or travel which is no longer available.

It is our own hearts that weep and heart.

Even while we are hurt ourselves.

Dealing with pain of separation.

And our own ill health or sacrifice of staying behind for just a moment which turned into an eternity.

We are now a nation of mourners.

Not just one individual experiencing grief.

Nor a community sadness.

Seeing death on a daily basis, either our neighbors carried out dead or our non nieghbors running for their lives in a war they dont understand but appears to be necessary on both sides. 

And there goes my mother except for the grace of god

 My mother was severely damaged emotionally and psychologically.

They say it occurred at the toddler stage when her parents were busy and thought they had proper day care.

It was a different time, the thirties when life was grim after the roaring twenties'

They grew up with all the glamour of those years not theirs to have and then the collapse.

They came of age with no hopes at all accept each other having been sandbox kids.

They had known each other from before school age, visited each other and sought the knowledge as families did of each other's past such as where they were from.

And when they were eighteen, they were allowed to get married, midstream 1935.

It seemed a wise thing to do for the two young ones, after all their siblings had not been as lucky to find others at all much less with a comfortable family to blend in with their own.

Actually, I don't believe the Scandinavians with the touch of Russia were ever accepted by the French Canadians from quiet Pennsylvania, but they pretended really, really well.

Anyways, they went off on their adventure and had their European honeymoon which they had saved for or had been offered by one of the older ones in order to be accommodating towards each other's families.

This way we can each visit each other's backgrounds and origins and explore new ones together.

As things go, she came along right away and before the first anniversary. 

No birth control pills in those days for a newly married young woman.

They did their best with the new arrival, but it had already had a severe shock.

It was born.

My mother was peculiar and years later would explain to her therapist, that she did not understand why she could not just stay in the womb.

She was quite comfortable and had no reason for coming out at all to face the world.

Her mother could just keep her warm inside the rest of her life, all nine months protruding!

Yes, her personality was one of those that did not mesh with others.

And then she had another problem, she was handed off to an old man who had the notion of spanking her.

Neils probably did not know any better, his wife had handed him a dozen babies, again no discussion of abstinence in her day.

Oma and Opa were happy to see her but she already had her face screwed up with a disbelieving expression on her face.

Who are you two?

It had been difficult being born on a boat headed the wrong direction, and at least one parent swore the other one had picked up the wrong infant.

She  had also won the New Years eve award for being born.

She got tiny little gifts and great big welcomes by the authorities and on both sides of the Baltic.

She was born on her way to Copenhagen but arrived in Leningrad instead, wrong boat, all those names looked the same in the dark with a woman in labor.

Poor boy, the little man with the big heart and the beautiful dame on his arm.

She never did forgive him for introducing her to his other relatives all bloated and pregnant.

But what was a man to do while visiting Europe where he had spent more time than that miserable Moab desert his family had wagoned trained and got no further.

At least hers had made it all the way to the Pacific ocean.

Life went on as it does with the new couple getting used to each other and the new arrival refusing to believe it had to put up with amateurs and adolescents at the same time.

She could not get over any new thing and spent her life that way, wondering why she had to have new experiences.

And then the war occurred.

Her parents had already made contacts in Europe and were aware of the Nazis advance on civilization.

She was an experienced radio communicator as their location was a little further south than intended and travel was still difficult.

Her brothers had taught her how to use the radio for their farms in Midwest and the father enjoyed communicating from the ocean where they had the fruit farms to them.

She signed up first in Canada where he had a friend and then was sent to London to  make the announcements just as she had been trained. 

He went off and joined the RAF Canada parachutists squad. 

His father had been a WWI flying ace, having mastered the airplane which was then used for crops back at the farms.

They were an import and export family of merchants who had stopped in Ogden because they had wares to sell and only got established in San Francisco in time for the Great Earthquake to destroy it all.

He was accepted for training because of his dad, but Captain Jack he was not and was put on special duty. 

Look, they gave me a special job, instead of flying, I get to jump out and land!

She sighed and wondered if he needed glasses, as his father whistled thanks to the commander about not sending his son into combat.

While she was dodging things in the London blitzes, he was learning the landscape from the air.

On their honeymoon they had taken a lot of walks and gone to every old place they could think of for his family's business and her personal interest.

She got blitzed and ended up in hospital and he landed in the wrong country, breaking his back.

While they were both laid up, someone else had  my mother who should not have been there in the first place.

If only she had not mistrusted the kind old man with the accent, she would not have had to have a variety of babysitters, nannies and others during her early developmental years.

My mother never did get over anything at all.

One of those women took her to an orphanage and tried to get rid of the howling clinging thing.

Another had it shipped back to Canada, where it ended up in the animal section for some unknown reason.

And another one actually took her home with her to Kensington Castle.

Oh my, what a delight. 

Not royalty herself but all those people with servants.

What was a spoiled little girl to do?

Wait until I was well enough and come get her from my parents!

Just wait until your father gets back! 

It took a little bit longer than most, the war for my grandparents.

She covered it first as an announcer than as a working reporter, going out into the military baracks for interviews and any news of her husband.

He had fallen on fortune, not a POW camp for him but a traveling mobile unit. 

With his broken back they kept him and moved him with them as they went deeper into the woods.

Eventually he made it to Cairo where his father had flown out of and then to Morrocco and then home to Paris when it was all over.

They had planned to live in Paris and kept an apartment there that had been inherited and not sold.

It never did work out between them, too much had happened after spending so much time together.

Life is strange, after struggling and sacrificing, they could not reside in the same house.

Later of course, life got better and things explained and forgiveness was granted.

Meanwhile, the spoiled one had grown a tumor in her head, probably from eating mothballs.

Her habits of eating everything and anything were well known.

She hated canned anything as that was the family business, picking and pickling and processing the fruits and vegetables into commodities for sale.

She had also meet a little boy whose father did something top secret, something she did not believe and he had to live on the West coast with his uncle who was in the  navy.

The whole Pacific fleet new about the little boy who had been rescued from the auntie who just wanted a child and lied to her husband as to how she acquired it.

Good thing, it was his sisters child or she  might have gone to prison.

Strange things happen in those Appalachians, and this family had acquired oil, an oddity, they sent two girls to Arabia to marry princes and her to the universities of Europe while the boys were shipped off such as to the Navy to keep them all busy and not idle rich.

Having received a Doctorate, Laura went and got married and impregnated. 

Her life was short and her son came out unusually small and never did grow to his full height.

There was the short story of how two families should never have meet on the beaches of the Pacific.

I think my mother purposely choose poorly in order to annoy her parents.

What she got was a pot of gold in my fathers small heart.

Life was never going to be easy for anyone after the wars and those vanquished did not understand to follow home those they blamed for their unhappiness.

They had no homes to go back to after the bombings and it was easier to lie cheat and steal thier way into America.

Anyways, my parents got married later than sooner, he went off to college and then the Korean war while my mother dallied around.

This time the couple were held back so there would be no misunderstandings.

It still did not work as life is just that way.

After half a dozen pregnancies my father called it quits with his wife's personal vendetta to get rid of each and every one of the offending intruders.

Her brain cancer had developed quit a ways by then and her thinking was completely screwed.

Not that she had ever been easy to teach and never did accept certain things such as gravity and electricity.

Life was a puzzle to her and her kids always wondering where they would be next and how to get back home.

In the end, everything was taken away from them by too many interlopers.

At one point, the mothers mind was so severe she began to repeat the crimes that had been done towards herself.

Holding her own kid's hostage or setting her husband up to be killed.

That school shooting was typical of her obsessive behavior pattern.

Dwelling on the negative every minute of the day.

She would want impossible things or bring the wrong people home or give away  the family possessions.

And then there was teh day she discovered her husbands gun. Just like her father he had a service issues firearm, locked and hidden from view.

She could not get enough, probably had caused her parents divorce her obssession in owning her fahters gun and the great lengths she went to obtain it and then use it as extortion.

Her husbands, she just toyed with the idea of shooting herslef, her husband, her kids. 

She had been in a number of bank robberies and I swaore there wre ties she switched sides during the heist.

Going to school and holing up a bunch of kids out of fear was someting she would have done.

Keeping her family from knowing how far her mind had dwrifted was aslo normal.

Sitting there with negative thoughts all of the time.

Always dwelling upon getting even with her own relatives while loving those not hers because they had not caused her harm.

She wanted her way all of the time and never would take no for an answer.

We all prayed she would not use the gun but knew one day she would go too far in her own delusions.

The rest of us began to break apart, break down or became wrecks.

My grandparents both died mysteriously, while my father appeared to suddenly have lost his mind.

My real siblings had been sent away perhaps to protect them after all the harm done.

I swear we all have heart conditions from the frights we had when little from her behavior.

If she ever thought of walking in and killing the President we would not have been surprised.

It was that bad at times.

A bus full of children hanging off a cliff because she could not figure out how to drive was not an unknown treat for us to experience and wonder about.

Her problems with all of her own relatives issues from somewhere else, we were not an aggressive family but a firm one who were disciplined individuals.

Fear of what she might do next prompted her own parents to put a stop by way of nursing homes and care facilities not prisons.

Her own children hardly know each other much less who they were supposed to be to  others.

Frauds always existed showing up where they ought not.

Such as Demi Moore who still believes she is the real one.

Such as Meghan Markle whose father had a stroke and yet there she is in a community she would not leave alone and had to be arrested a number of times before it was explained that her only way was to pursue an acting career.

Just as Demi, she goes through a performance and gets paid for it.

The boy could have been her son, he was the right age and she is also the right mentality.

Have you not noticed her mental issues and defiance against authority?

Want to bet she does not have a long history of mental institutions that her social worker foster mother has swept under the bridge?

Why did she have to show up if she did not already know the community?

Why was she not at home with  her father whom she hates?

My mother never really had a chance at a life of normalcy and her parents blamed themselves.

Her children worried about going to prison for her crimes because they could not reason with her nor the community that saw the pleasant faces blondes as normal instead of monsters who followed us until there is only one standing alone dealing with the same problems.

Authorities do fail sometimes to recognize the real problems and not respond in time when they see no harm because they have been told to expect a non aggressive or non negative outcome.

The reality is no one knows what someone else is thinking not even those frightened of their own mothers constant demand to do battle with them while the onlookers applaud and encourage and then slide in to misrepresent the truth. 

I lived briefly in that community and then Demi showed up claiming me to be false. 

It was the end for our family unit, and she shows nothing towards those she destroyed accept to get in our faces and ask us why we just don't get it.

What she says and does in private is not what happens in front of a camera.

How much has she gotten away with, one wonders, Meghan could be her daughter she is the right age and mentality.

Life does repeat itself and dying of grief is not something I am not aware of; I think every one of my own relatives who dealt with my mother's damaged brain felt as if they were going to die or wished they could die because the pain was so severe of her world that she lived.

Instead, the world gets the fantasy of the Demis and the Meghan's who clearly are not getting the grief the rest of us experience through our own relatives. 

Sadly, some are never sane, not when they are born and not when they die. 

I remember Uvalde, Texas, standing outside by the sign waiting, and waiting for my real parents to show

 My parents should never have married. they grew up together during the war years.

His father was part of the secret Manhattan project. 

He was not to know why he did not live him for decades.

My grandmother was a radio announcer who had survived the London blitzes. 

Only to find her husband had parachuted into the wrong country. 

He broke his back and was taken to a hospital not a German Nazi prison.

The unit was Russian, an ally at the time and friendly.

Not something known again for decades because they immediately became the enemy.

While the Germans made as if they were roses instead of onions.

Nazis are not nice people, nor are the stupid ones who allowed them to stay once it was safe for them to go home.

God only knows what the Ukrainians are going to do once this battle is over. 

Stay in a foreign land or go back and rebuild.

Most probably will not even try but take advantage of their good fortune in being in a land not known for offering anything but promises.

America is a not a bad country, it just has a lot of bad people in it.

Who prefer to take matters into their own hands?

Such as the ones who kept following my family around making us miserable.

We were sure they were gangsters before the Mafia was acknowledged.

German families who had no reason to be interested but just won't take no for an answer.

Three generations latter they are still sitting there lying about whom they are and strong arming everyone around them.

And for what? They have not gone home to thier own country but prefer to rob everyone here.

In fact, it is believed they may have had the most amount of heists and bank robberies, these four families who surfaced in America, having followed some of our family home. 

They broke my mother as a child, convincing her that they were her enemies.

While my father was often rejected by his real family since they were told he was not in fact the real one.

All those years, the imposters keep showing up and explaining they are family, kinfolk.

They are liars and extortionists to the extreme.

So are their grandchildren who just want to meet the Queen of England.

Or so they say, you have meet her!

So what, she is a nice lady but not American.

What is the big deal for all of these Germans?

It means you are royal, so all 100 of them march over and introduce themselves.

Then they come back telling everyone they are now royals.

They also show up at eh White House preventing any discussion of real politics.

They are Christian elders, and they are going to run the country not those elected ones.

How tiresome it all was, to be raised around these heathens.

And then there were those days when they simply picked us up and took off with us.

Kidnapping and abducting us, for what reason?

To insert their own children.

Now the situation is so bad, everyone has forgotten which families are thiers and which ones are not.

Even the uncles get confused, hanging up on the right girl and opening the door to the wrong one.

Who would confuse me with Demi Moore?

Really, I might have been pretty once but I am no Demi. 

Holding us hostage or at gun point was a normal part of life.

My mother fleeing for her life, believing her parents were about to be murdered.

Sadly, they both had mysterious deaths.

And this after the two great grandmothers meet their makers in odd fashions as well.

I always believed my mother was crazy.

It turns out she had brain cancer and did not know what she was doing.

She allowed my father to be ill treated, a Korean war hero.

He fell too ill to fend for himself, after being a valiant warrior.

He had many friends but they did not know how to deal with the diabolical one who just kept walking us into trouble or so it seemed.

We traveled a lot around the world and moved around a lot in the United States.

It was meant to prevent the family from being murdered in their sleeps.

Instead there were many attempts, fires, and gases, snakes and spiders not to mention diseases.

Nowhere could we turn that there was not trouble.

We children clung to gether when we were together.

When we were not, learned to live alone.

Always wondering why our family.

Why were these people so hard to get rid of?

They still hunt us down, even when they have forgotten who we were.

Some of the kids were thought to have died or disappeared.

They did not but we rescued or abandoned or given up for adoption for their own good.

I spent a lifetime of wondering if I was ever going to get home to my family.

Only to find Jimmy sitting there tearing it apart.

And Candy demanding she was going to teach me the bible when she does not know how to read.

Not the Bible at least.

Then there is her daughter Lisa who is a true demon.

And Janet her Neice raised to raise hell, and Satan is not pleased. 

One day she will go too far.

Betty Adelman has gone to far, but is just too mean for most.

Terrified of her and her ways.

One person put her into a pizza oven with her size four feet hanging out.

Her father was notorious in threatening all alike and getting away with it.

He died as most men do but she has managed to convince people she is the Queen herself.

Where will it end?

Only when all three generations of the four rotten families are taken to a deep place together.

Where they will kill each other off.

As for these shootings, they are frightening me.

I had an operation in Aurora, Colorado.

I went shopping there at that Mall or ate at that Mac Donalds.

I also went to school at several of the schools including Robb Elementary.

It as if someone is spelling my families name out across America.

Maybe the Mafia does exist and for some reason they are sending in lone shooters.

For some reason, these German gangsters stepped on the toes of the real guys, both Mexican and otherwise. 

They are getting even for what ever reason at the same places my family had problems.

Because the bad communist Catholics would not listen to the Pope or the President.

Maybe they were always pirates and sold us and the communities we lived, worked, played and went to school out.

I also lived in DC, bless you the Bidens and the Bushes for surviving all those attempts from long ago and hope your people are more successful than the current lot at whatever castle the Queen is lodging.

There is always a breach for some reason, maybe they don't really want a female running the show after all. 

Maybe Jimmy will fall off the earth into outer space some day from his enlarged ego... sniff, it would be just too bad, if one day he did not wake up to run the show after all his father Captain Kangaroo had the longest running Childrens program. 

Time to wake up to some adult programming and not pornography, but real credible news sources and interesting entertainment. 

Wonder where my little brother was today? 

Hope he was warm and well feed. 

And not sitting in a dark, cold dungeon. 

Curse you scam artists and defrauders and swindlers who just want to have their way but never pay for anything nor put anything back together nor give anyone hope for the future.

What another pox! Have you heard of this one yet, you will ...

 There are diseases and then there are diseases.

Everyone has had the measles, or have they?

We all believe we know our past or our memories but most of us rely upon our families and friends.

I have had chicken pox four times according to my school records.

Impossible!

It is probably an outbreak occurred and it was recorded wrong.

Or someone else was using my school records.

Anyways, do you know the difference between the poxes?

Smallpox is considered the most deadly of them all.

Not unlike getting the plague, almost sure death.

It was supposed to have been eradicated due to its toll on a community.

They still get cases from time to time in remote regions.

It is not scene as possible. 

And they keep the antidote in their Pandora box of deadly diseases.

Yet the smallest of all the poxes, the others are also not easy to handle.

Chicken pox is the most common and comes with entire schools going down at the same time.

In fact, the old custom of putting the innocent victim in with their sibling who has it is still carried out.

Highly contagious, it easy to catch but does not usually do much harm.

As long as one does not scratch. 

Or it does not travel to private parts where if a boy is a certain age, it might kill off his swimmers.

This is why it is supposed to be a requirement of inoculation in order to attend school.

And everyone has to attend school in America.

But there are those dissenters.

Those religious ones who refuse to accept medicine or anything outside the bible.

As if the Doctor's of Bible times did not use a type of immunization when available.

More children go to school without the vaccination than is realized.

Especially those from other parts, which is why there is so much disinformation.

Anyways, if one has gotten the required vaccination, inoculation, it only lasts twenty years.

This is more than other vaccination and should get one through college.

Imagine getting a childhood disease in college?

And becoming infertile or sterile.

This is why grandchildren with chicken pox are not to be dropped off at the grandparents.

They have past the stage of immunization and often do get it but it goes without being reported.

Shingles is what they call adult chicken pox and is a form of herpes, not transmitted through sex.

It is nasty and there is a vaccine for it, most adults should be revaccinated for chicken pox if they live in certain areas or come into heavy contact with children such as school teacher. 

But they don't.

Cow pox is rarer and is usually only in cow countries.

It comes from cows and is transmitted by using the hands to milk.

Many in the old countries had several types of diseases from milking.

Which is why milking girls having a bad reputation, from their arms becoming burdened with scars.

Monkey pox is from monkeys or primates.

It crossed over from animals to humans in the Congo in 1970.

Ground rodents also carry it now, such as squirrels and groundhogs. 

It is large and miserable.

They now have recorded deaths from this horrible disfiguring disease.

My mother had the problem that all diseases were spread by sex.

Her German aunts were bad to her, worse in their prejudice towards people who were not them.

She grew up with strange ideas, her parents were not able to understand or get rid of from her mind.

She never stopped giving people the idea you had committed some unforgivable sin when caught with any disease, but especially the common childhood ones that everyone gets without having sex.

With all the other problems of the world.

Monkey pox has escaped out of Africa.

It has crossed continents and borders and even oceans.

It is now reported in 15 different countries.

From Israel to Italy to Germany and even Canada.

Just as Prince Charles arrived for his trip to the indigenous people of Canada, so did this nasty.

It is a 21 day quarantine.

And England is an island nation which quarantines.

Six months for all animals brought into the country.

They had a required 14 day quarantine for the CVD pandemic for all incoming tourists or returning nationals.

Will they now require the more extended one?

Is Prince Charels going to miss his Mothers Jubilee Parade in 10 days?

Imagine Princess Anne getting to steal the day!

She is a horse woman and competed in the Olympics.

She could do it in a cinch, presenting the Queen on horseback instead of Charles.

And as of this morning, eradication along the border is no longer possible.

Burning along any border is not uncommon when necessary.

Those little varmints don't acknowledge the laws of the land.

Too late, to consider the transmission from Canada to the United States.

It has already occurred, New York has it first case.

In less than a month, it has crossed from Africa into Europe, down into Israel and jumped all the way across the Atlantic ocean.

Too bad, those little guys carry more than one disease.

Nasty fleas spread everything from the Plague to the pox.

Just like mosquito's are not nice to have around a place either.

Now we need to know what to do.

They have bought millions of Chicken pox vaccine, already.

They are using this to protect against the new arrival but have made no announcements yet.

Just a warning from Biden to consider the disease seriously.

Go out and get your young ones vaccinated if not already done, if one does not have a religious objection.

And for the adults, there is the adult shingles to consider.

For the rest, stop feeding the squirrels.

Or play with the groundhogs on field trips.

In other words, stay away from the rodents and wash your hands when you touch anything. 

What else do we need to know?

At  least there wont be a mask requirement.

For now, just hope, wait and hope.

I remember the Congo.

My father was a guest university lecturer.

We went everywhere.

Even the Congo.

I can recall getting off the bus from school and being attacked by a girl running out of the forest.

I saw she had eruptions and covered my arms and carried her to the medic unit.

I was small myself, understand and she was too little to yell at.

They kep me for the weekend.

And then released me for having no signs of the disease.

When I got home I found my younger brother was covered.

They had tied his hands to his waist so he would not scratch.

My mother was acting odd and jumping up and down about having to care for him.

I ended up sitting with him and doing what the medic unit had taught me.

They my parents got sick anyways, and I was the only one without eruptions.

Maybe the medics had given me an injection and maybe I had already had chicken pox a couple of times.

An uncle was sent for to come retrieve me from the Congo.

He was a journalist and wanted the story anyways.

Once he arrived and found out what was going on, he spared no time in getting us out.

We did not make it very far.

Just to Constantinople.

Where he laid in a hotel bed refusing to call down evil on his cousin.

Not.

I sat in the window collecting things from the sidewalk below.

For him to give his report from his hotel room and without a sign of  his pox.

My godfather and I had a number of adventures.

He was not the only one I traveled with, my mother was the only girl of the group.

They were survivors of the WWII and afterwards.

She got away with a lot more than she should.

She also had been abused by mean aunts and blamed her parents.

Life was not easy for small children especially the only female survivor of the newer group.

Well, my younger brother survived the Monkey pox and is now immune to it.

I was exposed and should be considered out of harms way.

Although I did have those strange hives thought to be an allergic reaction to one of my meds.

I will never know, the nurses were refusing to take me serious.

It amazes me, that a woman diagnosed with brain cancer could convince so many of her having brains.

The rest of us did know what we were doing but got no credit nor respect.

Ironically, the few people I would wish this disease upon have already had it.

Lisa, my mortal enemy was the small child who won't stop showing up telling people I am her mother.

Betty Adelman the witch who has caused governments to fall, also was present and probably was the catalyst to the jump to humans.

She wont stop telling people she is my real mother, causing my already unstable mother to go over the deep end.

As for Jimmy, I wonder, he is not supposed to have had anything at all, not even a cold.

His parents took better care of him than normal, as he was special born out of wedlock.

 

Both dumb and dumb.

Wishes, wishes.

He does not deserve to live after he has caused so many deaths.

This disease is also a killer.

It wont leave us unharmed nor happy to see it go away.

That is the problem, how to get rid of it, now that it has arrived.

Unlike the mutated virus, that has the likelihood of dying out eventually.

Pox is contagious and spread through communities and then resurges.

Burn anything under suspect is the old way.

Wash, wash everything one can and sterilize the rest.

For god's sake don't let the ground rodents win this war.

Where are my kitties when I need them, kill them, all of them, squirrel, rats, gerbils...?

Just another day at the races.

I wished you would die.

Excuse me?

I wish you would die.

He just kept repeating it over and over again.

On public transit.

He had assumed my asthma attack meant I had the dread Covd virus.

I also wrongly assumed I was purposely trying to spread it or was he just being a bastard?

He called me, a woman an (a......e)!

I don't know if I have ever heard of a woman being that before.

I also thought they got on the trolley on purpose and sat near me on purpose.

It was one of those days. I am sick all the time now.

I have always had asthma and have been through I kinds of treatments.

I was quarantined four times, but only twice was I tested positive.

This after I was vaccinated and then boosted.

I was told I had upper respiratory before the Pandemic.

I am continued to be told that I don't have pneumonia.

It feels as if it is more than allergies that I am experiencing.

But i am not contagious nor am I spreading something on purpose.

The doctors tell me I am fine and just take my inhaler

The nurses treat me as if I am being a baby when I keep complaining

They want combat pay for the job they got paid by the insurance companies to sign up for.

But they don't want the work. It is a lot of work when everyone is going crazy.

Especially when the crazies are being allowed out of the mental wards.

If they were just kept inside instead of walking around doing bad things.

I know a lot of people who have no reason to be outside.

Yet when some of us try to appear normal and go about our business.

We get into trouble.

I have had all kinds of negative comments.

I did not bring this disease to this country.

Nor was I diagnosed with it until long after it spread.

Having gotten it does not make me a bad person.

Nor does it make me a criminal going around with sinus sniffle. 

Being accused in public is not pleasant.

I am sure they got on the trolley just to find me.

It was one of those days when I felt I was being followed.

For no reason at all.

It just felt as if too many people were getting on and off the bus as the same time.

I kept moving on the trolley because the others appeared to be interested in me.

I was doing nothing at all.

But the last move brought me to the end of the car and then a couple got on.

And they had a dog, so many don't wash their dogs and fleas do carry diseases.

There is was, one more stop and my chest constricted.

I stood up and leaned against the wall while my lungs attempted to get air.

It is hard to grasp for an inhaler when there is no oxygen getting to your brain.

He started in harassing's me and on que began the speech about me spreading Covd.

Excuse me?

At first confused.

And then he started his abuse towards me.

I felt it was staged.

I looked around and people were looking at us.

They were not coming to my aid.

They were enjoying the exchange.

He was doing it on purpose.

He knew he could get away with it.

All I could do without a gun, was tell the woman I would be ashamed to be seen with this bastard.

She ignored me.

She was silent holding her toy poodle.

It was not pleasant thinking they had done it on purpose.

And days after yet one more shooting.

He told me the next stop was mine and to get off.

It was my stop, but he did not have the right to tell me that.

Nor did he assume he was doing a public good.

He was not.

There was no security at the trolley stop. 

Sometimes there are nothing but men in uniforms.

Not all are police but there to send a message the customers are being taken care of.

They were visibly absent.

The bus driver was not interested in my story.

The customer service when contacted told me I could not make a complaint against another customer.

Then I was told to take pictures. He sounded as if he had a gun he would use it.

Excuse me, could you smile for the camera?

Just another day at the races.

I got bumped on purpose.

I had my purse stolen or my life taken away.

By a complete stranger.

Who has been watching me for no reason.

Due to what did I get attention?

Because I always bet on the right horse?

I am courteous and polite?

I don't cause trouble but appear sickly.

Or i just don't fit into their world.

They entered my area; this is my hometown and they are the strangers.

They have taken the city by a strangle hold. 

My grandparents were run off their old homes and properties.

The city needed parking spaces and our plots were in the way of progress.

Now they are building those glass places with no escape in case of emergency.

My parents were kept after not being allowed to work in the area.

They had the wrong kid show up and the police could do nothing about it.

We had strangers show up and claim to be relatives.

We were robbed and raped by these and yet the authorities have no way of handling the court orders.

Instead more arrive everyday.

I actually came back after being escorted out of town.

And I once worked for the city.

And for the State.

And for the Federal government.

I am probably seen as an alien due to my skin being tan and not black nor white.

Get lost.

Get out of here.

You are not wanted. 

This is not your town nor your trolley.

We came not to conquer but to get rid of your kind.

The kind that arrived first before the others.

It was not fair and they are not going to be nice about it. 

I wish you would die.

I wish you were dead.

Words no one uses today.

Good thing I no longer carry a gun.

I once did and with the authority.

That was before the attack and my skin color came under question.

I am not a foreigner but a native American.

Even the Africans have tried to get rid of us. 

They were hired the Buffalo Hunters to get rid of us after the Civil War.

Starvation and lack of housing are the current answers. 

Illness is the old answer, much easier just to wipe them out with disease.

I have not been beat yet by any of the European diseases, not even this Chinese flu. 

I am here to stay as the last of my line, civilized and Christian. 

Not atheist nor barbarian. 

I will finish this race in this place.

Knocking on Heavens Door

Knocking on Heavens door,

It is just an expression

It is a song about war

Laying down their guns

They have blood on their clothes

It is not theirs but someone else's.

Jumping over Heaven's Gate

Is another song lyric

It is about busting your way into heaven

Taking what has not been offered

Getting in for free

Making God accept one

Or is it just an honest desire to be in Heaven instead of hell?

Dantes Inferno is famous for his depiction of the harm of politicians.

The different ways of being tortured 

And the many ways of earning a trip to hell.

He also wrote a book on Paradiso

It deals with those put into exile

Who were innocent but their society would not accept it?

What are we talking about anyways?

All those shootings.

All those hate crimes for no reason at all.

It is not going to bring anyone back.

It is not going to resolve anything.

Why? Why? Why!

What will this current war do for anyone?

Will it bring world peace?

Will it stop world hunger?

It has allowed a lot of people to flee and relocate.

A few to look like heroes

And more as villains.

But what is it about?

Freeing hostages,

Bring about peace

Going home satisfied 

the world was protected.

Instead of more death and sorrow

It is all in the viewpoint

One wants to be right

One wants a single answer to a question

One does not want to bet on the wrong horse

And find the man they elected is now a bad guy

Which one do you like best anyways?

We now have celebrities committing suicide

Again, it hasn't happened in a while.

The usual course of seeking attention

By taking your own life

Leaving your family destitute

And your life immortalized

That is when it is a suicide 

Not a drug overdose

Nor an accidental drowning

A misfire of a gun

Nor any of the other devices

That takes someone's life before it is time

Cancer, and heart failure

Those are normal ways of dying

We might not like them

But we are told to live with them

We can't fight them ahead of time

Nor can we build a bridge of understanding

It is hard to watch the news 

During a horrible disease outbreak

The pandemic was worse than most

But what about the war for no reason

Just let them go if they want their freedom

Those neighbors of yours for gods sake

But don't put the blame on someone else

Don't make the world look bad 

Don't keep making people so angry 

That they take their own lives 

Or pick up a gun and kill others 

Or even refuse their own treatment plan.

It is not one thing 

That causes the whole world to go crazy

But a bunch of little things

It builds up in individuals

And in communities

Until they cant take it anymore

Where are we to go anymore?

Heaven is supposed to be a place of safety and security

The final resting place 

Of the those who believe

Hell is the opposite

It is a place of torment 

Somewhere no one wants to end up in the end.

Everyone has different beliefs

How they die 

Is sometimes important

As to where they end up

But not how they get there

In the end, we all die anyways.

Does it matter where we go?

Apparently it still does

Knocking on the door is polite

Someone knowing they are going to die

Is asking permission to enter 

A place of peace

Jumping over the gate

Crashing into heaven

Is something else

They don't want to go to hell

But don't know how to get there

Since they are the aggressors

Life is not simple

When criminals want their way into heaven

Anyways,

They don't want to be kept out of Heaven

When they deserve Hell

For their crimes

And yet

Children are told to go hell

By their own parents

Who are refusing to care for their needs

Killing them 

Or allowing them to starve 

Or die on their own

What is worse

A country not telling others

It has a contagious disease

That is going to kill millions

Or not allowing freedom seekers 

The right to leave when they ask?

All that killing and for what

More black bags

More orphans

More dead celebrities

More bad people taking advantage 

Of the situation

How do we know Heaven is waiting

Is there a sign out

Vacancy?

We are all told about it 

Some Narvana

We are all promised at some point there is an end point.

How did we get to this point?

Knocking or jumping

Heavens door or gate

It is at least not hell

All I want for Christmas is peace

Not Armageddon

Who cares anyways about another dead nobody...

Where o' where did I put that old thing...

 A painting has gone missing.

And no one is interested in my story.

I found it about a month ago.

That is how I knew it had gone missing.

I found it online at an auction house.

The only worse thing is going by a Pawn shop window

Or perusing the local goodwill boutiques

And finding something that once sat in your house

Or your grandmother's bureau

Or even those people who used to stop by.

They stopped for some reason

And there is a very pretty little trinket 

Sitting where it ought not to be.

Wonder why they stopped coming by?

Anyways, there are a lot of thieves in the world.

Slippery fingers into once purse or closet is nothing to these ones.

But it the really big items,

Such as a painting on the wall or piece of furniture.

Excuse me, I am sure that is not meant to be removed!

There it sat on a Thursday evening auction.

I wonder if they still serve champagne?

My location they were having kerokee and salsa!

My Wi-Fi is off and on again, the management is having issues.

Up popped my alarm and the Auction was already on.

I had to keep after the little icon at the bottom for a whole hour 

Just to get a peek at the thing 

That should be hanging at the White House.

The Crossing of the Delaware 

Has been a Jewel of the tourists

Until Michelle came to stay

She seems to have gotten offended

Took it off the wall

It sat for nearly four decades.

Really, Washingtons Butler is sitting right there

On the raft.

After a trip to the Bahamas as a youth,

George went out of his way

To buy two young boys

Who had found their way to a Plantation

He made them his butler and valet

They had to be trained 

And grow into their jobs

They did receive their freedom in due course

And they were allowed to marry

Something most servants were not given the privilege.

They also followed him into battle willingly,

Whether than stay at home with the others

After all they were his only personal property

And a little bit standoffish of the rest 

Who were Marthas first husbands 

Her inheritance did not come in cash.

He is on the raft steering his Master

Along with a number of other persons

Emmanuel Leutz used locals for his painting.

He probably carried at least one version with him

Before creating the mural size one

That does still hang at the Metropolitan 

They say there are three of the things.

One big one and two small ones.

One must of have been his master copy

The other a copy for presentation

And the large one for the public.

Someone in the Private sector may have even had it as a personal possession

The little thing, a original drawing or work in progress.

Perhaps he used it for payment to his place of residence.

Or to his mentor benefactor who helped

An immigrant German arrive and pursue his artistic skills

Instead of being put to work in a factory or become a janitor.

Maybe, he left it behind and forgot all about the thing.

One of the tow small ones

Was donated by an unknown person

To the White House, for them to enjoy

More school children make it to DCthan NY

They say sometime after 

Michelle moved in to the big house

She allowed it to be bought

This donation to a private couple

And now they have requested it be removed

From the very place it represents

The Crossing of the Delaware

Is the ultimate iconic scene of the American revolution

Besides the signing of the Declaration.

Shame.

Someone wanted it off the walls.

And sent it to Auction.

Why not a Pawn shop!

It was touch and go with the online live auction

They were fixated on an early twentieth century 

Painting of an African community dancing and enjoying themselves.

It was quite good and the elaborate body movement captured

Was genuinely enjoyable.

It went for almost twenty million dollars.

Just the other day a Warhol went for ninety five million.

Not the tomatoes soup can but Marilyn Monroe 

At least it wasn't Jacqueline Kennedys image.

The Evening sale this week

Included many modern twentieth century 

and Nineteenth century Impressionists.

Quite a lot to take in for those not accustomed to modern works of art

There sitting right in the middle was this work of art

Where it did not belong.

Even the auctioneer said it was not like the others 

They had hoped for perhaps fifteen million dollars

For someone else stolen or missing inheritance.

Offered as a donation and then sold.

I bet it was offered originally as a gift not to be sold.

Very well, they were off and running.

No one called to pull it out of the auction.

And they were bidding on it and very excited. 

It went by so quickly.

The little thing that never did anyone any harm at all

And for thirty nine million dollars!

Well, it at least it was worth some little value.

Quite a fortune for someone to pocket

And without a bill of sale

Wonder who now gets to enjoy it?

Not an Arab in his tent?

Nor Oligarch hiding on a boat!

They are getting rid of those types of people.

Probably a nobody who won't even hang it but put it in storage

For some flood to damage or fire to consume 

In the future ...

Without the benefit of the enjoyment of all those who once believed 

In an America that fought for freedom, tried to undo wrongs

And never sided against independent ventures.

I do hope this guy in the Oval Office knows what he is doing.

Letting a thing like that go,

Should have just tossed in the trash pile. 

Death by suicide

The Judds have said their mother committed suicide by handgun. 

She was about to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. 

She had special people coming over and she asked her daughter to come into the house. 

And yet, she was found by Ashley after a friend stopped by to visit, upstairs with a gunshot to her head.

Death by suicide.

It is hard to believe she would do such a thing and with people in the house.

Suicide is always seen as a solitary thing. 

Something one does when alone and not with others around.

The Manhunt for the Alabama jailor and her escape ended in death by suicide as well.

She allowed herself to fall in love with a man charged with murder.

She gave up everything to be with him.

Sold her home, turned in her retirement papers.

They made it out of Alabama. And Tennessee only to land in Indiana.

Why did they stay?

They kept on moving the first few days, changing cars and keeping out of sight.

And then they found a hotel room for six days.

The manager says he did not rent to them, someone else must have done it.

Why did they go to the car wash?

Why did he let himself be photographed?

He must have known where the cameras where located, he had been in prison.

And then they gave chase in a car, the authorities as they were given away.

She somehow hit the 911 emergency button or was it him?

They can hear them arguing on the phone.

She wants to flee, to get out and keep on going.

Even on foot.

They crashed and as they pulled him out, all 6 foot 9 inches, he says his wife has a gun.

They found her in the car with a gun shoot to her head.

Self-inflicted, and she died at the hospital.

Did she give up her dream?

Or did he want his freedom, even if it was back in prison.

Eleven days on the run with the wrong woman can get tiresome.

He called her his wife, when did they get married?

Was it her or someone else her shot? her?

One does not know does one?

My mother was always talking about suicide.

I found her more than once in a state of almost death.

Once I walked in to find blood on her pillow.

A gun was on the side of the bed.

My gun from my National park days, they do issue them.

It was supposed to be in a safe.

But she can crack any safe.

Really, she can.

My fathers guns where always going missing.

As were my grandfathers.

Both had been in wars and issued them with training.

I called the 911 system, and was told I was on my own.

I had to back the car up to the door to get her into the car.

And then drive her to the hospital.

She had moved her head at the last moment, just in time.

She survived the gun shot to the head.

Was it self inflicted?

She never tells the truth about anything at all.

The outdoor camera showed little mis Tara entering the room and leaving quickly.

Tara was noted for many things, including attempting to kill many of us.

I watched her choke the life out of more than one little boy.

And hold the smaller head under the water.

Have you ever had your head held under the water?

I have.

I am sure it was not self-inflicted.

But she always protected Tara or anyone else who tried to kill her.

Was it fear?

Or conceit?

She always thought she was invincible.

I found her in the closet once with a very frightened boy.

Every boy wants to look at his fathers gun.

Both my father and grandfather  had guns issued to them.

They were supposed to be in lock boxes.

There isn't anything my mother can't unlock.

Laying there in her own blood with a boy

loosing it, saying over and over again.

"Sorry" and "it wasn't me".

She said she believed him.

She put him up for adoption.

She only allowed him home when she felt like it.

Tara was in the neighborhood that day as well.

So was our Jimmy and Candace.

Both killers, both convicted and committed.

But never incarcerated for very long.

My mother won every argument.

Not because she was right.

Because she insisted she had won.

And she always got even.

The problem is that she was not well.

Others had taken her hostage as a child.

She never could tell her family what they did.

She never trusted her family.

She acted one way and did things another way.

I never trusted her at any time.

All those children that did not belong.

They were all trained to kill.

First by biting and scratching.

Then by injections so they would not be told upon.

And then there were the poisonous spiders.

All they had to do was crawl in and open the jar.

Tarantula's were hand carried.

And they came in twos.

While one was being killed the other was stalking you.

Some took to knives as well as other means to get their way.

Everyone of them, from sweet Amy Adams, Julia Stiles to aggressive Alcia Vikander, and Gail Gadot.

Not one of them  mine.

I cant have children.

None them trained by my mother.

She was only allowed to play with them.

She had brain tumors and injections into her brain by Jimmy and Candance.

Just helping her, they said.

Helping her on her way.

Cancer spread throughout her brain.

She kept on going just like the Durasell battery.

Right to the end, lying there dead to the world.

I called 911 and they told me take a shower.

I did because I had been lying on my bed a few days and smelled.

But then the alarms and lights came while I was under water.

I was quick but not quick enough.

I flew out of the bathroom, now with a broken door.

To find her gone.

And no one knew where she had gone.

Not the hospital across the street, 

Nor the police station downtown.

Nor anyone in the neighborhood.

I had no purse, no keys, no money.

I sat on the porch and waited three days.

Before she walked up the drive and refused to tell me where she had been.

I tell you she was dead, no pulse, white as a sheet and stretched out as if rigormortes had set in. 

Meanwhile, I was in the other room in a deep drugged sleep.

The Prince's little speech

 Blackrod came a knocking 

"she" spoke to the House of Commons

The Queen requests their presence immediately

in the House of Lords.

Off the marched or ran to see

except Big Boris, who rose more slowly

and inserted himself appropriately

as the current Prime Minister.

What they got 

was not the Queen

And on her Jubilee 

but her son.

The Prince had chosen to show up instead

he brought his wife

and his eldest son.

And the Crown of his mother

the Queen sat on a special pillow.

The gold throne wall was missing her throne

but he had a seat as he has been sitting next to her

and a chair for each of the visitors.

Usually it is her and her son who sit over 

the opening of Parlaiment.

While the House of Lords sat in red robes

the House of Commons stood at the back

Including the Prime Minister

who as not even offered a seat.

To hear the little speech

The Prince had prepared 

for their ears to hear.

He is only seventy years of age.

But she has not given up being Queen.

Should she have sent someone else?

Should he have stood himself?

Or stood aside for young William?

Whose wife prefers to go topless?

Her high top dresses have no one fooled.

Thank god she did not attend

The opening of Parlaiment.

Wonder if they will answer the summons

If and when William makes into the chair

and she Kate actually shows up?

Anyways,

the little speech 

was read, and not badly

no stuttering

or heehawing.

And then handed over to the Herald 

who then lead them out,

following the Crown 

on its pillow.

There was a group of Red Robes

however, who did flee

out the side door 

ahead of them.

Hmm, 

Maybe, 

Next time,

They should ask

the other little Prince

Frances President 

had to stand for his speech 

and acceptance for his second term.

His wife also came and stood in those heels

while her daughter caught everyone's eye 

Poor thing, no kids of his own.

He spent the weekend with Victory day celebrations 

As did the other big guy

Vladimir Putin.

In Red Square

all those  men in uniforms

and tanks on trucks

but no planes

and no children nor wife.

Poor thing, he lost his family

in order to become a Prince of the Russian Federation

Still not treated by the world as the actual leader.

While Macron is also a Prince of tiny Andorra

Once an important part of the European royals 

who dealt with Shahs, Shieks, tsars and pharaohs?

Does the world listen to Emmanuels speeches?

They should

Nor should they ignore Charles.

One in a Million

There have been a million deaths in America from Covert. 

I must be one in a million.

I was quarantined four times.

I tested positive twice.

I was tested about two dozen times.

I got vaccinated with the Johnson and Johnson which they now say is dangerous.

I also got boosted with the J & J.

I did have bad headaches, and nose bleeds.

I have been spitting up phlegm and mucus.

I have real difficulty breathing.

I have always had asthma and was in an ICU unit previously.

I don't want to repeat the experience and stayed away from the emergency rooms.

I have never gotten over the upper respiratory virus I was diagnosed with just prior to the outbreak.

Who knows, maybe I have something not anything like this damn disease which has altered the way we live and breathe.

I was once going to go back to work, but my career has passed me by while in isolation.

I know I was once weel enough known in my area of expertise but no longer needed.

I even went back and got another degree, this one in Art History.

I do remember when I tried to speak to someone while they were all excited about hiring nobodies with no experience at salaries the old anchors would have heart attacks if offered, that one person told me very kindly if I discovered a missing piece of art or an important discovery was made, give them a call.

Well, I notice there is a missing piece of art at the White House.

The most important work known to school children is the Delaware crossing.

It is definitely missing from the white house walls.

It turns out they have decided to sell it at auction.

It has been there for decades and now they want to get rid of it.

I think that is a story, but I did not get a call to come back to work.

I did survive the covert virus though.

As I told a street person, who was insisting I speak to him.

That I was alive.

He thought I was being funny.

I had a horrible auto accident where I was paralyzed from teh waist down.

I was almost dropped off the top of a twenty plus floor hospital and can no longer get into elevators.

Nor planes.

My life is over as a foreign correspondent.

I can't jump into a plane to the next story.

I am still waiting for the transatlantic crossings to come back.

There used to be a way to cross on a weekly or daily basis.

Now one has to sign up for a cruise. 

I just want to get to Europe.

There are things I need to do and people I need to speak.

Yes, I did survive, and I am alive, a little bit weaker than before and bent.

The guy who is also lucky to be alive, they put through so much money for the homeless.

That there were one million more who did not survive.

He complained, he just wanted me to say Hi!

I had at first but not to his liking.

I am not only tired but suffering from yet one more root canal.

I had my face cracked by the airbag and neck twisted.

I need a stick to keep from falling down, which I have been found face down.

I have had three extractions, one on each side of my face, and one more root canal.

The dentist told me to go somewhere else and come back for my crown.

I think they were being funny, I'm not sure.

I have had three dentists retire and gone through half a dozen dental clinics.

I have no idea where else to go for this last infraction.

I am enduring it for the moment, but it is difficult to smile or eat or speak properly.

Anyways, I am alive and one million other people died from the covert.

The guys on the streets are lucky to be here but are now being asked to move on to somewhere else.

They have no other place to go for the most part.

And neither do I as most of my life I paid for the family properties but never got to own them.

Everyone else assumes they are the owners, but never do anything but sell them without authority.

Fifteen million individuals are now being reported for having died worldwide from this Pandemic.

That is not as high as the Spanish Influenza which reached perhaps fifty million.

Though same say one hundred million.

The Black Death reached up to two hundred million in Europe.

No one really knows about Asia where it started or even Africa where it must have gone.

So, what are we doing running around without masks and thinking we have beat this disease?

To be able to be free to not have them on is something some of us have desired.

I have lines around my mouth now as if I have been smoking.

Not fair! I followed the guidelines.

What next?

Hopefully, it will not be world peace, followed immediately by Armageddon.

As the bible prophecies.

We all want peace but not death.

Another war has erupted, and we are holding our breath.

It is hard and it is bad to be on the wrong side of the ocean.

I want to talk to people and can't even get to the other side of the continent.

If I did get to the East Coast, there would be no one to speak to me.

They all forgot who my real father was and why my real mother went crazy.

What they wanted was to promote a new people.

I am not antisemitic nor African.

But we all worked hard, some harder than others and there are no jobs left for the brown Indians.

First the Germans came after destroying Europe and not wanting America to exist.

They won't go home, after we went and helped take down their little wall.

Then the Mexicans came wandering across the wrong direction.

They forget that they caused those native to die by mass killings.

Now they want us to welcome them and to hand over our lives or else.

Here we have the poor orphans of the Ukrainians.

I am a descendant of the Ukrainians myself.

I cry to see those cities destroyed.

I remember being told to leave Kiev as a reporter.

I also am Russian and went to Orthodox schools.

I was never welcomed anywhere I went.

Now it is popular to know the culture, but it is also to throw stones at someone they don't know.

Whatever went wrong, there are two stories to be told.

Less blood and perhaps peace, but not with the outcome the ultimate demise of all humanity.

Let us all be careful of what we ask for, because it is illy to survive a car accident or a deadly pandemic, only to have no place to live or to go or to see the world blown up because someone misunderstood something or other while a shift was made not of stupid people but inexperienced ones.

Let us all take a deep breath and be grateful not to be one of the million who did die. 

We are sad for those who did but now we must fight for those who did not.

That includes understanding why this is happening and what to do to satisfy both sides.

I wish I could go and interview the parties as I was once the main girl Friday.

Now I am just one of the many unemployed. 

No one cares when you are no longer working.

They move on with someone else and don't even look back.

Spying and stealing information to make others look good when they are not.

It is the same old story in any industry. 

My former colleagues have fared better than others but still it is worrying.

Wondering what the hell, those guys are reporting.

Wish all the street people well, they might have a better grasp on life than the overpriced media or celebrity at this point. 

After all, they survived without the fringe benefits. And they have no place to go. 

Just as the news is no longer enjoyable or newsworthy.

When are they going to get the other viewpoint?

When are they going to stop hatting someone whose only crime is not being their President?

I was once a journalist and now I am just one of many who survived what a million others did not.

Will I also survive Armageddon?

I hope to be one of those survivors as well, I have done nothing wrong nor kept someone else from living and breathing. 

Bless those who lead with wisdom and knowledge and the ability to get around their own people as well as along with other nations. 

Maybe we can be survivors of that disease as well, the one we are now staring at in the face, death of all humans.

If the wrong guy pushes the wrong button because the wrong guy is there to push it.

Such as Jimmy!

Bless the mothers who gave birth to babies and kept them.

Mercy on those who decided to raise other children.

As for those who did abort babies, that is their business.

It is the ones who abandoned without a way out nor those who actually beat or killed their kids that have no reason to live.

CINCO DE MAYO a party of blood by those who don't believe in America celebrated by Americans to dumb to know they are the next Mexican target

                                                                

The assassination of the original landowners.

It is said that 4000 civilian Puebloans outwitted 8000 French soldiers. The Battle of the Pueblo was the only victory of the Mexicans over the French. If the story is true, the French may have retreated in order not to burn the whole village down. Or the locals might be lying about the victory, the French, regrouping in order to bring a full and final victory for the French. They did return and did install Maximillan on the Throne, the only European royals in the Americas. Whom they would later execute him, meanwhile numerous assassinations of original landowners of various properties or land grants occurred throughout Mexico.

It must be remembered that the original owners were neither the Aztecs who swooped down on the Mayans. Nor the Conquistadors sent out by the Catholic King and Queen to seek their rights across the seas. Many had already landed before 1492 on the continent between Europe and the Asia countries. Seeking those spices and other special items such as tea plants, many had gone through great difficulties to find themselves on a foreign land. Their descendants would spend the next centuries attempting to prove it despite the history books inaccuracies.

Everyone knows the story of how Ferdinand and Isabellas united in marriage and their lands to oust out the Iberian Islams. The only true descendants of the great prophet Muhammad Ali, his grandson and nephew ran away from the slaughter in their own lands from the military leaders taking over his domain once he died. He only had daughters and his oldest Fatimah, had a wise husband, they sent the boy away with helpers while keeping their own ministers inside the new group. They did not regain his empire but endured the loss of his life's work. Which included bringing together the Arab and Egyptian nomads into a fighting force that swept through the war-torn area to gain the mountain of the former Soloman's temple.

The Islams had altered the Iberians and continued to have their religion creep over the land to the point of endangering the rest of Europe. Already forcibly converted to the new religion of Christianity they were unwilling to make another change. Many of the cities of Spain, are actually former Muslim centers, such as Grenada, Toledo and the castles such as the Alhambra were their places of worship and wealth. Instead, they were finally pushed out, meanwhile the Europeans had missed the opportunity to put their stamp on this new continent. 

It was not only Columbus who thought the world was flat, but many others who knew that there was another country or continent in between. The reports were kept hidden in order to keep the local inhabitants from being scared. Having survived the Romans, Hannibal, Attila the Hun, and Genghis Khan, the Europeans were a little weary that there might be yet one other group. The Aztecs were fierce warriors and their bloodthirsty sacrifices would have been the end of European Christians. The former barbarians would have emerged to defend themselves. 

As it was, the Inquisition rose up in order to determine who they were now dwelling. The Catholics had retaken an area of undetermined ethnicity and loyalties. They allowed these men to torture information as well as to forcibly convert them to the new rulers designs. The cruelty is still unspeakable but it might have been considered necessary in light of the modern atrocities that have occurred when the wrong military leaders take charge in a religion not compatible to the European Christan. 

In particular, they wanted the Jews to be eliminated from their midst. It might have been religious intolerance, or it might have been ethnic differences. Those who survived the Romans would have either been extremely poor and turned towards thievery such as Odessa was said to be known. Or they would have been extremely rich, merchants who could travel through the areas of the Silk Road. They are known for being Diamond buyers and Goldsmiths. These people were no longer welcomed in Catholic Spain. They sent them to Mexico to get rid of them, most of the Conquistadors appear to have had a rich Jewish Heiress as a mother or grandmother. A way of survival, but the others were exported not as colonists but to live outside of Spain. 

Many Mexicans feel proud to be related to Moctezuma and his descendants. Only a few families survived and most of them immediately went West and up the Baja coast towards San Francisco. It was known the Russians had already set down roots and had not only forts but ports. The French arrived to a mixed group of people who wanted independence from Spain, but as Jewish descendants not as catholic rebels. The French are very catholic, in fact they hid and protected the Pope during the times the Germans thought they would take over Rome and kept him from harm from the Iberian Islamic rebels. 

Without throwing the blame against the Jews who would have more difficulties as unwanted and exiled from their own lands, the Mexicans were not convinced they could not just demand to be the original owners. The Mayans and others were murdered or thrown off their own properties by men who went around broadcasting they had arrived with an oral proclamation. It is interesting they expected these people to understand their words, evidence they knew clothes had made it ahead of Columbus. These people were transplanted and incorporated into those left over into a new type of people. 

The Pueblo should have been a purely Spanish Catholic town but instead they resisted their invaders and made it clear they were not the same type of Christians. They continue to boast of having defeated the French to the point of spitting on someone else or demanding to take their property away from them. They feel they should be the rightful owners of all the lands not conquered by the Conquistadors nor having the legal right to own. Many of the Jewish converts would have been prevented from land ownership. As many of those who survived the original invasion of the Spanish would also not have been allowed to understand land ownership. That is why Land grants were issued from the throne or royal offices in Spain and Mexico City. 

These Puebloans were not land owners nor were they willing to cooperate with anyone else but they were also unwilling to rule the people with fairness. Look at the modern drug trade, and human trafficking. They even steal white babies from visitors in order to align themselves with the white Europeans and not the olive skinned Spaniards and Jewish ethnic peoples who came. The modern people give ample evidence their forebears were a people without rule and would have died off without help. They had already been raided by a number of peoples including the 

Aztec. This scuffle that so many claim is their right of passage proves nothing but naiveness. Life without a rule authority would have been chaos as the modern cities which have been disrupted from the calm life Mexico was once known for.

The French did come back and take the Pueblo as well as the rest of the area to make themselves rulers of Mexico. Their holdings now included Canada, which they lost to the Americans on the East but also the Mississippi river west. Napoleon sold the Louisiana area which included Oregon to Jefferson. The Lewis and Clark expedition which made Sacajawea famous but not rich came out of this purchase. They did not sell Alaska, which the Russians sold a little bit later as their western holdings had been pushed all the way up the coast. 

Outlaws is what the Franciscan monks were according to Spain and the Catholic church. They could not return to Spain nor stay in Mexico City. Instead, they set off Baja building missions on land they did not own in order to care for the leftover Indians. They would be part of the problem of the uprisings believing as the original owners they would be allowed at some point to return to being landowners and rulers. They were wrong, the Cinco de Mayo celebrations make it clear the mixed race of Jewish conversos to Catholicism and possible Indians are nothing nice but the ugly truth of an uprising that caused more unpleasantness. 

The next year on the anniversary of this impossible occurrence, many throughout the Mexico lands were murdered. The land owners were taken out of their homes in the middle of the night and then strung up or executed. The French were already on the way to victory and it was known they would succeed. Still these ruthless outlaws took care of those who came back to what their forebears had already stacked out. Many of the West coast properties were already occupied by those who knew their ancestors had landed prior to Columbus or the Conquistadors. 

Maximilian would eventually be murdered by the locals as well, as Napoleon was ousted by the very people he protected. No one wants a ruler over their head but to be self-determined. Except it is hard to govern an unwilling and mixed population. Even, the United States has difficulty with this with the many murders and shootouts they are known. Meanwhile, the Mexicans seem to believe they own America where their ancestors never did step until they arrived and without any authority. Now relatives or neighbors hear about the old pioneer days or the legal title and spit on the families. 

Demanding to own it themselves, they don't understand that not only are they wrong but criminals. Murdering children in their beds and stringing up old men or sending them to nursing homes where they will be kept drugged in order to keep them from telling the truth. This holiday is not an honor but a disgrace and the Americans applaud the very outlaws who possible murdered their own families in the past. Many Americans claim to have not past and sweep in on any one who might have a real ancestry. They even hire German bastards to pretend to be the real owners of properties. 

All they care about is robbing others and getting in their face about being the originals when in fact they are nothing but rejected, perhaps from not just the Catholic peoples but also the Jewish ethnic peoples as well. Imagine outlaw Jews throwing parties pretending to be Christians which involves rape, drunkenness, stealing and murder as a thing school children should be taught is a happy holiday. Many Mexicans are ignorant to who they really are but are also arrogant towards Americans about their rights. 

Meanwhile, neither another bloodbath of innocent Jews should occur nor the continued threats from foreigners towards properties which were never owned by locals. Some families have multiple murders in their families. There are those who don't consider their own fate in this regard of going to reside on these properties. A ghost or two have appeared to many who have no idea why, but it appears to inspect their real relatives versus the false one who shows up against court orders. 

How many more drownings will occur on property that was once fruit orchards, instead of farms employing the underprivileged.? How many more Africans or those from Egypt will arrive with false stories to defraud a Christian family that did no harm but have inherited time and again a piece of land where the owner's death is suspicious at best, just because it is easy for smugglers to claim? Beware of the couple knocking at the window of their home wondering who has walked in uninvited or the man walking his last time through his own home before the Puebloans come in order to continue committing crimes instead of living a clean moral life, Christian or not.