when does grandma get to have her way?

Grandmas used to be the supreme beings that visited and treated as queens. Than there were those times that they were thrown out of their homes for the daughter in law to occupy.
My grandmother had both the queen  lifestyle and then no place to live due to the stalker named Jim who insists he own each and every place there is in the family as his. He threw her down the stairs as well according to witnesses when she was living in a senior apartments.
Now my mother wanted to be the queen grandma who went out of her way to play with other kids while we who were related to her stayed at home or otherwise where we could do nothing at all until she decided to come home and that was not often.
Later she went around collecting grandkids to play with and introduce to others, always giving people the impression they could have anything they wanted. It was anything as long as she was present and wanted them to have it. She was swindled out of a lot of her life and our income.
Now it is my turn, I don't want to be grandma at all and the courts are on my side. I don't mind those I know and took to my heart, which are few due to my mothers way of dealing with strangers, presenting themselves with my approval.
I don't want the stalkers to show up who came without my permission the little girls who stoled my wallets or went places without my permission with the  misunderstanding my mother was taking care of them. I don't want to pay for their children nor do I want to play with their children.
I want them to be grown up, be married or a serious relationship, have a degree of some sort and employment. I don't want them with their hands out or their being provided for bey anyone else at all.
I took care of myself and my sibling as well as a stepson and adopted daughter. I don't want everyone to assume they are on my list and wish the authorities to come in and arrest these girls I know have convictions and court orders. It is their responsibility to not notify the aggressor where I am at any time and to actually follow through with the judges decisions.
I don't want girls screaming about their kids and what I am or am not doing to them. I want the social services to begin questioning why they have kids and why they expect others to treat them as princes and princesses.
Even Kate Middleton is not a princess, unlike her former mother in law who was born to a house of respect but still lost her titles when she did not comply with expectations. Kate is nothing but an airline stewardess bundle that might or might not be the so called husbands child. She does not look like the others nor act responsibly. Running away to Ireland over a spat and having sex with the opposite of the guy who showed her interest is not respectable, to go back and still marry the guy after giving herself to his opponent. Now everyone calls her queen when in fact Charles is not dead yet, but her children were born to royalty, and might be allowed to keep their titles. They are not automatic nor or they guaranteed, look at the way Fergie has behaved and her daughters not been provided for in the same way.
Grandma Queen Elizabeth is held responsible for the behavior of the children but not allowed to criticize them in public. They expect an allowance but don't want to work for it or so it seems. Unlike Michelle's two daughters born to her after several other public relationships, they were given the impression the world was theirs. That ended with the president loosing his job and moving out of the white house. And now those grandchildren would shame the real grandmother who died without being able to force them to accept her values.
Where are the modern grandmothers to go? The courts don't allow them to be held financially responsible for them at any time. Nor are they allowed to raise the grandchildren without squawking from the social services. The parents are expected to care for their own children and that means money as well as clothes, toys and introductions to a better life. Not to keep going over to people behind grandmas back and make people pay them when in fact they are not their biologicals nor acknowledged relative.