My life now

 

Post pandemic 

My life now

Is not better 

But much, much worse

No one wants you to enjoy yourself

And they make it a point

To now exactly how much money

You have 

Even though we are told 

Not to spend it all in one place

To conserve it

And make sure we don't end up

With none at all.

But they don't want you

To go to the free things

Free museums Tuesdays

Nor those free screenings

I visit the Japanese gardens

Too frequently

My grandmother was one of the first

Whites to join the Japanese club

And encourage the women

To keep their culture

As well as for the freedom from camps

But she is a dead person

With no bearing on anything at all

I worked at various charities

Not caring what religion 

As long as they were doing good

And not showing prejudice

Until now

When everyone is complaining

Just because I am a survivor.

I survived being born to a crazy woman

I survived a childhood of trauma

From everyone who just did not like

An Indian walking around

Nor sitting or even standing.

Only good Indian is a dead one.

Which reminds me 

I walked into Jimmys fist one night.

Woke up in a body bag

Had a huge round bruise

Right around my heart

A sharp jab to my heart

It seems to have killed

Navalny a big six foot man

While I survived

Was that gods will?

Or just chance that jimmy 

Is incapable in impotent.

All I did was get invited

To a lunch with the Bidens

Who used to live down the street

From my parents in DC

It was only because the saw me

Not knowing the local anchor

Kimberly does not allow it.

I was the anchor at ABC

Until she waltzed into town

I watched my father die a slow death

Just because she did not want me

In my own hometown.

It would surprise her to know

I also went to Stanford

Where my father also attended

His roommate was Ted Koppel

Not anything important

But today a spoiled bitch

Sat there crying on Mr. Bidens

Lap after her father went back

Instead of staying free of prison

And now Mr. Biden has made me

Not cry but get enraged

How dare he use such language

Towards someone who is only the man

Behind the desk

And not the one out in the field.

Jimmy will be happy

I never argue with those two

After all it was his wife 

Who was driving

When my sister died

Since we lived just down the street.

But that is another story.

Son if I have one

I am sorry to tell you

I insist on an apology

Don't put your job in danger

Just accept that your mother

Is not crazy just exhausted

Politics aside those are feuding words

In the old days he would have 

To put up his pistols

That is the reason one of the better

Known politicians never made president

Aaron Burr

On his way into the Presidents manor

Ended up dying in a duel

But he could not allow those words...

Anyways about your siblings

Honey for the last time

You don't have any.

But grandma siad

I told you not to mention her

After all she had brain cancer

I did try to take care of her

But she took my life instead.

All right, all right

I will tell you

She threw them down the toilet

See, you really did not want to know

But you are old enough now

To take care of yourself

And make the right friends

And chose the correct job

I do, you know.....

My mother stoled something

From me that I have never gotten back

She took some pearls from my silk purse.

When I was a young girl

Still getting ready to go off to college

I had kidney failure

Went through dialysis 

And had to have a transplant

While I was out 

She snuck in and had them removed

I was told she only got two of them

But I heard there might be a few more

In the freezer.

Never eat anything from the freezer

You just don't know what is in there

You were a prototype

She wanted to help someone

With their doctorate

One of the first 

To be developed 

Well without my having to have

You know....

My precious ovary 

Was robbed just so 

She could become a grandmother

After all I was expected to die

Before my 18th birthday.

No Jimmy is not your father

Nor my husband

I did sort of have a signed agreement

With someone who was going to make

Me a woman once I was old enough

Those are old days

And stories you don't want to hear

My mother was crazy

She did something without my permission

And you were the result

I never blamed you for being born

Nor wanted it any other way

It is just that I cant have kids

And you don't have any sisters

Nor aunts.

I am not even sure about those

Uncles, as I am suspicious 

Of my mother and her boys...

So don't ask me again

Those frozen things

Went out the freezer

One day and straight

Down the larger fish bowl

I was upset about it at the time

But now I am so far over

Fifty that even old friends

Walk by frowning 

Just because I am annoyed

And want to speak my piece

Before I have an actual confrontation

Don't worry about me

I have no intention 

Of showing up on your doorstep

Not that you did not show up

When i was least expecting it

My mother usually hid you from me

Or made me think 

Well you don't need to hear this now

There has been another death in the family

And I have no one to speak to

Certainly not the President of the United States

Who has gone to far with his own dialogue

It is a shame

I had hopes for him and his family

But then a crying woman

Will bring down the best of them.

Flying all the way from Russia

When her mother in law

Is being shown her sons body

I guess she already has a  new man

Picked out for herself

Don't let it bother you honey

The man in front of you is only going

To loose his job for those words

But hey is old anyways

And you are still younger...

Alabama son has no idea

What my mother and I went through

Already decades ago

I don't blame her for her brain cancer

Just everything else.

Run along and maybe

You will be lucky enough

To get away from Jimmy

And his fist

While you real father 

That is another story 

Be quiet with me as I mourn

A man I once knew named Joe....