Uh huney?

Did you know...

There was a time

And then there were none,

By the way

For those planning

Special outings

Today..

There will be no 

Lyft's nor Ubers

Oh my god!

What are we to do?

How will we get around?

When did this occur?

Actually all those years

Ago there were private taxis

But modern world

Everywhere one can get wifi

There are those hired cars....

Well, well

One cant eat 

Cheese this week

A recall due to nasty Lysteria

And don't pet

An animal in Alaska

Those nasty things

Are carrying pox

Pussy like things

Causing illness

And death

As is some sort

Of fungus 

Deadly mold

And then there is 

Bubonic plague

One death has occurred

Anyone in Oregon?

Well keep to yourselves

Better yet don't bother

Visiting California!

Please!

Really what is a

Cat to do?

His boss is upset

And he has to wear

Another one of those things

She found a new coat

With a dragon on it.

The year of the dragon

She says with a kiss

Please make it go away!

And don't even bother me

With one of those mini t-shirts

Jimmy got caught

Going to vegas

And without his wife

To bad they could have gotten

A quicky divorce

Well, well

I hear there is a wedding

About to occur

Taylor  Swift

Flew all the way

From Japan

Just to watch 

Her guy walk through

The Superbowl

The Indian Chiefs

Won again

And with a game ending tie

19-19

Then over time

Each got a touchdown

But one got three points

And the other six!

Must have been half asleep

By that time

Well into my afternoon 

Nap time.

There it is

Jimmys favorite team

The 49ers

Did not win

Don't bring us back

T-shirts

Not even ones

With those flint heads

We don't want them

Just bring me

Lisas head on a platter

And her best friend

Harmony Smith

You don't remember

Your old girlfriend

Michelle Pfieffer

Before she was a star

Just thirteen and sitting

On the front porch

Next door.

With her belly hanging out

Crying for shame

To her daddy

About not knowing

Any better 

Gave birth right there

In Santa Rosa

A little smith girl

Mormon is what Jimmy 

Claims to be 

He is always getting married

To another pregnant girl

Since he cant do it.

Michelle showed up again

Near Sacramento

Her favorite drama teacher

Had moved 

And she faithfully followed

I caught her wearing 

My graduation dress

Hand stitched 

Due to the complexity

Of its design,

And singing with

My boyfriend

We had already

Toured together

Become legal business partners

But there she is singing

And little Harmony

Not only looks 

Just like her

It has a double chin

Clift chins

Are always suspicious 

To me

It is one thing

To have a wanderer

It is another to find

Out they were not taking

Precautions!

While Lisa weasal

Slide behind me

Harmony approached 

And demanded that 

I was her mother

And she wanted

My inheritiance

These former mormons

Due nothing 

But steal from you

And then throw you out

Not even real

And not going to get away

With it

Notice to the wheeler

Clan as well

Get lost

Better yet

Move to Alaska 

Or Oregon

And dont come back.

My heart is broken

And there is no way

They can repair it.

I did everything right

Even gave him the right

To find another

Only to have Jimmy

Show up

With his limp hanging out

And not giving in about

Stealing my underwear

Fainted when I realized

He had gotten them

Never trust anyone

In the ladies room

Cant put it right

Nor will those horrible

Nightmares go away

Of being walked around

By him

Just to show off

I am now over fifty

And not going to win

Any beauty contests

Poor Katrina

Her wicked mother 

Betty Jaillet

Will never get her reward

In heaven nor earth.

Did you know 

They make 

Sugar free chocolates?

Hershy minis

Whitman samplers

And even See's chocolates

Come sugar free

Honey make sure

It is a flourless chocolate cake

Who am I kidding

No man wants to be 

With someone who has 

A special diet

Gluten free bread and pasta

Fat free creamer

And now sugar free

Chocolates

And nothing but Roses

I am allergic to everything.

Except expresso

Who still  drinks coffee?

Everyone wants tea

Or soda

Anyone want to walk

On the beach?

Don't answer that

Dan or Peter

I am not speaking to you....

Just call me Heroe

Or Jaguar maneater

One last thing

Has anyone ever heard

Marylin and Joe?