Thank be to the gods
Or Pope Gregory
Who finalized the Calendar
As we know it today
Instead of the one above
With all those feast days
The Romans enjoyed
A good feat
With their vomitorium's
The modern anoxeria
Is jealous they actually
Made rooms just for them
They binge
And they purge
To keep their lifeless
Unattractive bodies
That no one wants
Not even themselves.
Anyways this is the month
And the day
Of all days
And a feast day
Gregory got all the months
Down to a 30-31
Ratio of happy months
And then February
Came along
During one of his colds
And he cut it down
To size of only 28 days
Instead
But then every four years
Unless it is divisible
By 100 or 400
Which is why
Some missed thier birthday
In 2000
The big twenty first century
And they had to wait
Another four years.
Anyways I was not born
On February 29
Which comes along
Every four to eight years
But Jimmy insists
On not only taking
His penis out of his pants
In an open court room
But also that at six
He became my father
When in fact
It is my sisters birthday
We keep in memorium.
But according to him
I am only 13 and half years old
Poor thing laying there
Not having gotten past
Five or just one
Jimmy wise
How many people
Really belive they only age
Every four years?
Well, Jimmy wont allow me
To have any grown up things
In fact he has throw away
All of our dolls and toys
He was told not to
And my mother promised me
But then she never kept
Her word
Not even to her favorite son
Which was not Jimmy
One should be 14
Come tomorrow
But hey now that I have
Gotten to menopause
I am expected to have what?
No coming out party
I will eunuch the first guy
Who thinks he is going
To pop my bubble
In jimmies case
I will just chop off his head.
Pop goes your weasel!
Now the tradition
Is that one is to propose
For years people
Would gather together
To see me pop the question
To the same poor fool
Who was just sitting there
Not knowing anything
About anything at all.
They kept bringing him back
Just so I could then see him
Go off with another girl
Instead of waiting for me
To be old enough
Which is why Jimmy
Always laughs his head
Right off his shoulders
Because it is just so silly
That I am ever going
To be old enough
And young enough
At the same time.
Well Jimmy
What is the difference
Between 13 and 14?
For you information
When I was 14
Going on 16
I might not have been
Under my mothers thumb
Nor my fathers roof
Too bad for that other
Little one
But she is not going
To be pleased
If she does wake up
And you have not completely
Decimated the world
My poor old little guy
Is probably not even alive
I would not know
Since it has been since
The 21st century
Since I have been allowed
Well, sleep well tonight
It will not be March
Until the next day
No money in your bank
Til the next day
Perhaps you wont wake up
At all.
If there was still a god
Who can count on his
People and angels
To do what is right
Kill him!
And make it count
This time
Not like all those other ones....
No comments:
Post a Comment