My family are from various parts of the world.
They all acknowledge the change of seasons.
I have trekked to the north just as Anna to see the Scandinavian sun rise and sunset.
I have sat in the desert waiting for the wind to circulate around my colored sand picture.
I am both Native American which they say came originally from Siberia.
The last of the true shamans were found in the Altai mountians.
I am also Scandinaviana, Copenhagen and St Petersburg.
Russ and Viking and French with a little bit of everything else.
We were nice little girls my sister and I.
Most of the time one grandparent had one of us.
So mother could handle the day without a meltdown.
But sometimes we got to be together my mirror image and myself.
We were identical and named for the morning.
I came first, Aurora Borealis just after midnight.
And then came the early rays of Dawne.
Two early risers, and two too many for one mother.
My mother used to tell my sister that I was her imaginary friend.
I used to explain to her that she was borrowing everything of mine,
My shoes, my dresses, my name and she even had my face.
And then she died, and I was given the one thing I did not want, her kidney.
Little girl dreams.
We all have them.
Some day we are going to grow up
And we are going to live somewhere and someplace.
Some want to be princesses
Others want to be athletes
And a few even astronauts
Most end up being mothers or wives
Not my sister
Her life ended too early
She was taken away before she was allowed to go to school.
We had a sex stalker after us because of our uniqueness
Stalkers come in many forms.
Admirers, rejected suitors, obsessed fans or just die hard swindler scam artists.
They say they are sick and cant help themselves.
They do more harm than any GI Joe out on patrol
My sister and I did commercials for our familys income.
My mother went crazy before we were born.
She threw away everything she could and then did not want us.
But she was outnumbered or so the men thought.
At some point a blond boy was brought to her to enjoy
He was a horrible pig
Envy knew nothing of his greed
But she took him to her heart because he was white.
She had begun to hate her own family and allowed it seep into her soul
Her hatred developed to the point of no return.
And then one of us did die.
After that it was over for her and her family
We never did know any rest at any time.
The first milk carton missing child.
I came home but other girls keep showing up sayin they are her, such as Martha
The first time a child had to go before congress to explain abduction
And yet the original abductees still ones around claiming to be the real mother.
I have had people such as Stephanie Powers tell me she is my mother
Even Peter Falk said I was his daughter.
He was honest about it she was not.
The kinds of people who show up looking for an easy buck
We were robbed and raped
My mother was never the same and her boys left her a long time ago.
While my grandparents and others appeared to be murdered.
One by one they died suddenly
Without cause, a car over a cliff he drove every day
Locked out of the house in a wheelchair in freezing weather
Falling down the stairs she used everyday
The list goes on of the accidents
And then there was the bullet to the head
And my father was chained down and set on fire.
While my mothers cancer to a slow toll on her spirit
When did it start?
On summer solstice day when a little prince
Found he could have his way only by killing them all off
And forcing himself on the girl child
My mother had been foolish and others knew it would not be pleasant
Jim was special he came from an affair of the heart
He had a white daddy who was on tv and could do almost anything for him
Except make him into a real prince or a smart president
He made it his business to do what he wanted
His real mother kept cleaning him up
Now dont do that anymore.
My little spoiled one.
He was a stalker
Extraordinaire
He got away with it all
There was no one who could stop him.
Many tried such as psychologist who had nervous breakdowns
Or presidents who had to be impeached.
Any woman who got in his way
He went after her panties and did things.
Most of the women become large
Or loose their husbands in some way
None of them realize it is Jimmy
They know it is him
He is listed as my stalker
I was the youngest to be given a restraining order
It was against someone else
Who is also still allowed to come inside and sit or stand next to me
He has tried to rape me and in front of witnesses
He is viral and has a few children he wont acknowledge
Jimmy is impotent and chemically sterilized
He just wouldn't leave the little girl alone
He still does want he wants
He controls my environment
He makes sure I spend my money his way or no way
He also uses my habitat against me
I have to lock my doors by sunset and cant leave before sunrise
He still finds a way to punish me
I have had my wallet stolen and then drugged so I don't whom I am
And then branded homeless so no one will help me
I have survived almost everything a woman
Has thrown at her including multiple attempts at marrying to the wrong type of man
Black African children demanding I am their mommy
Or Violent Redheads who want to know why they thrown away
Sins sins
To sin in the south is to produce a dark colored child
All redhead are from the devil
The list goes on of the types of things I have endured
My boyfriends learn will quick to disappear
Or else
My one husband never does come home
But show up with another girl on his arm, and another one
As for my medical issues
It is where it gets really good
A stalker who can get inside a individual
Without the ability to insert himself
All those injections when I was little
Repeated battles with Chicken pox
Or other childhood diseases.
And then not being allowed to have a normal female menstration
I was fifteen before they realized someone was giving drugs
To keep me younger than dating age
He did not want me to have any one but him
And he was going to get his way
Meanwhile a number of girls got pregnant
Not my vagina
But they all were told I was their mom
And they have used extortion on all the men in my life.
Menopause comes to every woman
We all end up regardless if we have had a child or not
At that stage when our ovaries began to have difficulty
Most simply stop flowing
My family are bleeders.
My mother was till flowing at 69
I have had a decade of gynecology attempting to tell me I am weird
I am not going to be gutted out
Instead I have had every type of pelvic exam possible
One does not wonder if it is Jimmy
Every woman in his life knows it is him
Doing his best to make us know how he feels
He has multiple wives and aunties
He treats them good until he wants something
He gets want he wants or else
Now he wants me to never have been pregnant
Nulliparous
It is on my medical records
It means never pregnant
I have never lactaided nor been in labor
I cant convince the two hundred applicants
Who show up threatening me because they have it on good authority
They have no birth certificate or evidence
I have evidence not of virginity but of not have given birth
It is not pleasant subject out in the open
But some women need to know how far a man will go
To get inside
He only has to tell the doctor what he wants and he gets it
One more examination
One more opportunity to get her unconscious
And go things to her
While she is unwilling to comply
I have four tumors in my uterus
I look as if I am expecting
I have had radiology
But I cant get it resolved
Every time I go anywhere now
I know the California State was right
Jimmy is a sex stalker
And he is not going to stop
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