Sadly, my mother well sell
Anything and everything
Including your soul
Not hers
Mind you
But yours.
Anyways there was
The time my father would
Sit me down and explain.
He had just bought
Himself and my mother
Burial plots.
Did I understand?
I was to bury them in them.
The problem was
That he did it a number of times
In different places
And I knew jimmy would
By right behind him
Using his name
In order to get the money
A rich spoiled white mans son.
My mother would also
Sale them to others
Or at least give them
The impression they were theirs
After all she had no plans
To use the burial plot
For herself
And my father she would
Just throw out at the old dump.
I remember a big party
Shocked so many people
Had shown up for his death
And then I went to sleep
I remember waking up
To find a strange box
Was sitting next to me
I paid no attention.
And went along to the office.
Later someone delivered the box
To the old house up the hill
The neighbor found it
Went into overdrive
How could I not bury
My father?
She took me by the hand
Over to the Memorial Park
Where she paid for his cremated remains
Were put into the rose garden.
I sat there in shock
Because I was really sure
We had buried him in a casket
In the ground!
Who would dig him up
And burn his body
Throwing away his clothes?
If not Jimmy
Who else would do such a thing?
Now jimmy woke up one day
To find a large bird
Poking and nipping at him
It was like Sesame streets
Big bird
Only smaller
An emu had escaped.
He got tired of it
And walked down stairs
Putting on his old blue robe
Which used to belong to someone else
And found to his horror
A bunch of packages of Emu meat
On the counter!
His counter had been defiled
He heard the garbage trucks
Walked out with his collection
And deposited them in the back
Just when my mother drove up
She was attacked by the big bird
While she went into shock
At seeing Jimmy walk out
Of the very house he was not
Allowed to be inside.
Meanwhile, in his haste
Jimmy had tied the robe
With a buckle around his fat belly
It got caught in the dump truck
The buckle part was tangled
With the claws of the machine
The last cul de sac on the route
They took off happily
For home the guys in front
With Jimmy dangling off the back
Stupidly attempting to free himself.
He was succesful!
The robe came off his body
And he was free!
And very naked.
He thought about it
For a few moments
Got honked at
And decided to walk back.
Straight down the middle of the road.
And along came the escaping Emu
Straight at him, agian.
It was not a pretty sight
To see its neck wrung
With one of his hands
While the other one was doing
Something unexplainable.
Along to the house
We had moved back into
As the lawyers had explained
It was ours after all.
Jimmy is in the habit
Of dropping by
And deciding to stay
Making it his home.
It is now in his wifes name
Not mine anymore
With no bill of sale
But those country clerks
Are underfed
They will do almost anything
For a free pizza
Or a subway sandwich.
He punished me of course
Once it was found out
That I was the one
Who had placed the emu meat
On the counter
It was my fault he had been
Attacked by the Emu
Laying in someone else bed
It is the same house
On Del Sol court
That his wife evicted me from
After stealing my mother
From the train station
And then calling an ambulance
My mother only lasted another
Six weeks laying there waiting
For someone besides me
To rescue her.
No on else came.
And never intended to rescue her
She had sold them out
So many times in the past
I am not even sure
Where her parents are buried
Nor my little sister
Most people dont bury things
In the back yard
Although those old houses
They keep tearing down
Might have something under the back porch
When they did not have cemetaries
And were homesteading.
Anyway, she sold her grandparents
Homestead to so many people
I cant even keep account
While her aunt their daughter
Out survived her
And it was never hers to sale.
Now I am the will stated heir
And cant get on it
Over some idiot drug dealer
Who is taking bribes
From women who just
Want their husband dead
Two feet of water
Is not enough for a full grown man
To drown in and multiple times.
He has moved into Buckingham palace
Once or twice
And the Vatican
As well as the Kremlin
He just wanted to look
Around it he said.
She even sold houses
While they were being occupied.
Such as the one on Long Island.
I saw in the news,
Some guy is claiming he grew up
In it where he was born.
I know that house had lots
Of visitors while I was forced
To reside in New York city
They were off to the wilds
Enjoying this prime piece of property
A little red house with green trim.
Hmm, I wonder of Joe
Did not dose off on the porch
Wonder what they will do with
The DNA they gather from
Twenty to thirty
Years ago?
Lock you doors
Mr. Putin.
Jimmy wants to sleep in your bed
And please don't leave.
Any strange animals around
Even a cat he has strangled
Just for sitting there watching him.
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