Knock, Knock, Whose there?

 

Candance

Queen Candace

Of Ethiopia 

In the bible

There is a story 

Of this woman queen

Instead the insanely jealous

Witch calls herself Candy

I mean Queen Candance

She cant even pronounce it

And the story is about an African

Candy is highly allergic

To anything remotely

Not White 

She is practically an albino

Although they have said

A few things about her

Father not being the same

And his mother was ...

Well, well

Knock, knock

It is Candy 

Knocking on your door

Then she lets herself in anyways

Always has always will

Just let herself in to your place

I hear she is the one who does 

Those raids down there

Every time we put food

In the cupboards

We would get a call

To go somewhere 

And poof it was all gone

It still happens

And even when I go shopping

My bags are taken away

At least she does not eat

The shoes or other things

Just throws them away in the trash

There is going to come 

A day when it will be her door

That goes knock, knock

And it will be big men

In military fatigue

She knows not whom

She steals from 

Just so they cant have something

Never going to stop

No not her...

Knock, knock

Huney will you get it

I am busy up here

You go and answer it

I cant right now

John gets up slowly

And lowers himself down the stairs

One step at a time

Waiting for her to be done

But not today

Are you still there?

Whoosh goes the door

As it is blasted open

Yeah they are still standing 

There with big guns

And they just took down the door

Johns is blown off his feet

He is only five foot three 

Or something and Armenian

Or is Italian? 

Something non catholic

Before their arrival in America

When they became Catholic overnight

Anyways john look and acts

Big fat mafia

His face turns a strange color

As if he has seen a cat cross 

His path or something

What the hell

We knocked and you did not answer

But i was upstairs...

What are you guys doing here?

Looking for a mis Candy

Who says her name on the phone

Is Camille?

Camille cant get through

Any single phone call

Has not gotten a single piece

Of personal mail

In decades

All because Candy needs to know

Hey that's my wife

And I give her permission

Just the guy we are looking for,

Spread them!

Spread what ?

As they turn him ove

And spread his legs

He finds out what they want.

Him in handcuffs and ankle wraps

Look what we found

A man behind the witch

Where's the wife?

Not speaking correctly

Something about his tongue

Being behind his ears

Cat got your tongue

His eyes glaze over

Cat haters galore 

Is his wife and her family

Only one feline has ever survived

The one called Camille

Honey I told you to answer the door

What the, hey where is the door

Oh look, you are on the ground

Got to go, see you later

Off she goes over the fence

Before the big guys can budge

Still working on the little man

On the floor

Where did she go?

To her sisters 

Someone is blinking pathetically

With his tie stuffed in his mouth

Fleeing across the desert

At high speed 

She gets caught in a back draft

Right out side her house

Is a county road

Everyone thinks is a highway

Between three semis heading

Towards Costco

And the Soccer moms minivans

She is struck on her but

Trips and falls right into 

The fields which once grew

Hunts tomatoes ketchup

Now it is home to millions

Of rodents and snakes

All hands on deck

Or go get her 

Is uttered

As they haul 

The little one out to the truck

They drive right past her

Struggling in the ditch

Somehow they miss her 

Searching wide afield 

She finally becomes conscious again

And ventures softly towards the far field

Where she is met by one sister

Waving her towel

Don't come near me

Don't know what you did this time

But they took my door off!

She hitches a ride

Actually she slaps 

A sports car going past

In the old days

They always stopped

This time she is hanging

On to an electric bike

As he bumps his way to her other sister

Who has sent out the dogs

Looking for her as well

Don't come this way

They took our door off!

What ever you did this time

I dont really want to know

You anymore

Go find someone else!

Justin is a little bit

Put out when he opens his window

Around midnight

To the persistent sounds

Of a cat howling

And hissing 

As his aunt crawls inside

You are the only one

With a door still attached

That is because i stood outside

And held my hands over my head

What the hell did you do this time?

I don't know but it seems to be about

You know who.

They say you have a wire tap

On her mobile phone

And you intercepted 

Her letters from some Senator

I always do that

It has to be something else

You did not cash any of her checks

I dont do that anymore

I cant think of what it could be.

Frustrated she has begun to shed

Her clothes in the bathroom

Don't take a shower

The neighbors will hear

But I had to crawl through

Just go sit outside 

While I run around

And get Janet for you

No, not Janet

Camille almost killed her

Last time 

Well, you wont be going

To see her tonight

Oh yes I am 

I want to know why

My families doors 

Are being ripped off

It might be time 

For aunt candy to find out

That some people are not impressed

When they spend alot of time

Taking care of something

Once precious from a distance

Only to find it has been stolen

All that stuff was going to go

Back  when the time was right

Except a few buildings

Have been torn down

And they got the word

About the thrift stores

Being the only place

She can find anything 

At all of her family

Who were once good citizens

Accept for that war 

And all the anti military 

Nonsense going on around them.

It is Mike and Bridget

Who finally come 

With their dog down the street

Here kitty, kitty

They shove her into 

Thier new cars trunk

Which opens automatically

And speed off into the distance

With a tiny tracker 

Following them on the FBI van

What did you do this time?

Everyone who does not want 

Thier doors knocked down

Have had to confess to not knowing

You at all.

Somewhere they is a very frantic

Person attempting to explain

How an entire block of buildigns

Is no longer standing

And inside were boxes and safes

For more than one person

All because Candy

Keeps knocking 

On the doors of her neighbors

And her doctors 

And even the local guy

Who knew she was not allowed

To have access to those files

Nor to a wire tap

He is sitting quietly in his office

Waiting for the capture

Of one of the most wanted

Culprits styled a cat burglar

For her endearing quality

Of always coming back

To the places she knocked on

To clean them out of anything 

Of value and has stepped

On a few too many toes

And gotten rid of too much 

Evidence on other criminals

Heading towards Mexico

The couple have not a clue

As to what is waiting for them

If they should flee

The border with a wanted fugitive

Meanwhile an angry little man

Is being given the first impressions

Of what it means to be humble

His orange suit does not fit

He begins knocking on his cage

It will go on all night, and all year

Before they will tell him

It was all because he did not

Answer his door promptly....

A humble man 

Would have known

Not to be arrogant

About his own door knock

Instead, he got captured.

In a Cats fabulous tale...