WHSA aka Wica

 

What is on the menu?

The President of the United States

Last night was no different

Suppposed to be one of those

Washington DC

Scholarship things

Instead the witches

Usually show up

And take over the 

Charity celebration

Since 1914

This charity has been

In operation

They hand out scholarships

Understand

This is a scholarship

Charity!

Not a pig roast.

Many misunderstand

With all of those 

Celebrities 

Especially the ones

Who show up

For no reason at all.

They certainly did not

Vote for the guy 

On stage

1921 was the first supper

And Calvin Cooledge

The First President

And an all male event

Until 1962

When Kennedy 

Said he would refuse

His performance

Unless the ladies

Were allowed to attend

We are not talking about

Jackie

But his sisters

For gods sake 

He had alot of them

And he was not going

To get roasted at home

For not allowing them to attend.

Anyways there was usually

Big time performers

Setting the stage

While the scholarships

Were handed out 

In the parking lot

That way everyone

Went away happy

And then the comedian hour

Came along and no one 

Is the better for it.

Watching last night

I wondered 

What do they eat

Besides the Presidents flesh?

This 1959 menu 

Is all I could pull off

The internet

Amazingly 

It has all the ugly meals

My mother would provide

Stale bread

And horrible 

String beans

Ugh!

We always wondered

Where she got her menu 

Now we know

The Question 

Is how did she get inside

An all male event?

I know no man

In 1959 would have put 

A menu in his pocket

To take home!

Not in 1959.

Now I imagine

They have something 

Besides Lime sherbert

For desert

And hopefully

Something gluten free

As well as sugar free

For those of us with allergies

When would I have 

Ever been invited to this type

Of event one would ask?

When I received a scholarship

Of course

I got a lot of those 

With my name

But then they went 

To other people 
Instead

But also suspect

I arrived by stroller

In one of those early years

My mother could not stay

Away from these things

In fact I am pretty sure

She went every year.

After all her mother

Was a famous radio announcer

And her aunt and uncle

Both wrote for publication

And she herself

Was on the Burbank studios

Along side the new kid

Tom Brokaw

Before that Mitchell

Gang got hold of her

You have no idea

What those thugs

Had her doing

Already diagnosed 

With brain cancer

But some people 

Just dont know any better

Such as poor little 

Scarlett Johansen

Could not believe

She showed up

She must have amnesia

Her birth was right 

In front of the crowd

Never mind Bob Hope

Stealing the show

Cathy Miller 

Who was hired to annoy

The religious girl

Mind you

I was not allowed

To go to the Kennedy 

Religion

I was in the other one

But in high school

It was a free for all

And all the girls

Were having sex with 

Your boyfriend

Which is why 

There are so many redheads

Such as Scarlett

Peter B 

Was not mine 

But he stoled my violin

My one and only performance

And then took my 

Math and science scholarship

As well as other things

But he did not get me....

Anyways this 18 year old

Showed up from Germany

Having just been let out

Of her idiot school

Of kids not wanted by their parents

Germany has a different 

Way of doing things

And in those days

Of abortion laws

It was easier for a woman

To go to friendly Berlin

Have the baby

Dump it and run

Without having to go 

To the place my mother

Was sent when her baby

Came out dead in 1960

As I was saying 

Scarlett

Your mother was notorious

For showing up

And not getting 

The message not to do it again

And again, and again

25 she was when

We finally finished 

That school

Me married

And already with a diploma

From a different school

While she was just sliding

Past the Principle

Whose wife was enamored

With my name

Got her picture taken

Then went around ....

Yes Mrs. Murphy

Was also a pain

Just a little indian girl....

I was already working

In New York and DC

When I had to go back

So this backwards girl

Could get through

As she had never been

To America

And had never had an education

And her foster family

Were willing to put up

With her tantrums

Until you came along

Right in front of the crowd

As my name was not announced

She got up to accept

One more time

Something that was not hers

She did not actually graduate 

From high school....

And plop

She feel down onto her...

And spread her legs apart

And you literally shot out

Into the front row

All red with embarrasment

And yet you showed up again

I can recall you know

When you mother took over

Our family homestead

On University avenue

The oldest building in town

With a modern building attached

And she stuck a knife 

In my chest

When the cops told me

To knock on the door

The complaint dear

Is that your diapers

Where making a smell....

You see she did not clean house

And the entire house

Was surrounded by black bags

Of diapers 

Which she never threw away

Just kept piling them up

Until the odor 

Was bad enough

To be smelt downtown

You know that story

You actually gave an interview

In your tender years

At to why everyone 

Was being mean to your mama

And the bad woman

With the knife sticking out

Of her chest

Was hauled off to the morgue

To where I awoke 

To another voice announcing 

My death

Talk about being roasted

For not wanting to have

A finger shoved into your vagina

All lesbians are mentally ill

Including your birth mother

I know you were taken away

And put up for adoption

With a nice couple

From South Africa

But there you were

With a red face

Smiling away

Oh that's right

You came back into 

My life

With your hand extended

And a needle behind your back

To say you were so happy

To finally meet your mother...

Which is why I was not there

At all, never got the invitation

Please leave my family alone

Dear little witch

And as for destroying

Someone else life

Just because yours

Is inadequate

There are such places

As jails and padded rooms

For drug dealers 

Who is there with 

The latest pills to sale

Your income is so small....

By the way

I already went through

This with that other

Redhead

Molly Ringwald

Oh she was invited back

After interfering

With a public broadcast

And attempting

To steal the very clothes

Off my back

While I was wearing them

At least Kelly O

Does not attempt 

To say I gave birth to her...

Peter  B

Has alot of kids

By the way

So you are not alone

In the world

You are just not allowed

To have my relatives

Cathy Ranz

Is the name on your BC

Not mine

Get that straight

I might have had 

A nervous breakdown

From having to deal 

With all the ungrateful

People of the world

But I am doing much better now

And it is still against the law

To make a false police report

Or call up and tell some stupid

That lady is crazy 

Instead of suffering 

From sever arthritis...

Mild degeneration of the spinal cord

In other words

My little back pain

Is worse than that old man

Whom they roasted 

Last night

And no Scarlett

He is neither your daddy

Nor your grandaddy

And by the way

I happen to know

Your are a registered

Republican!