Now Honey,

 

I was just complaining

Where are you now?

I know you were often

In the hospital waiting room

But not the last time

I needed you to be here

Really, all those childhood 

Tragedies

Then adulthood

I have was the one

Who ran around

Taking care of others

When Jimmy locked

Out of the house

In the snow

Great grandma Harriet

Harry the first one

In DC to have an electric wheelchair

Who was actually stopped

By the police and asked

For her drivers license

Which she had along

With a license plate

For her motorized vehicle

Now adays

They have so many

Scooters and others

No one knows how to operate

There I was trying to hug her

To keep her from freezing

Along came my real brother

He said he was shoved out

Of the upstairs 

He managed to get down

By way of tree.

Off I ran for a phone

While he did jumping jacks

When we got back

The Police and I

She was sitting there 

Frozen solid

And the little one 

Collapsed from exhaustion

They entered the place

Scared off the intruder

Called child social services

Nothing they could do 

For the old lady

Mother got back 

In time to find 

Jimmy had put her 

In the back of the car

They picked me up 

At hospital for frost bite

And drove to Utah

She was LDS

And had to be buried in Utah

We never did make it

For years I would be there

All alone watching him

Drive by with the skeleton

Just sitting in the back seat

Never could get him on it.

Which is why I ask

Where are you?

I found the other one

Sitting in the sun

In Ensenada 

Also in her ninties

Inga had lived a long time

Too long according to Jimmy

Who was attempting to say

He was her son

I was listed as the heir

To both places

Since my mother

Already had brain cancer

My  grandparents

Would not be required 

To do anything more than 

Make sure we did not loose

Our inherited property

On both sides of the US

Inga had been poisoned

She did not make it

Back to Utah either

Where her LDS husband

Lays buried 

We are not the Mormon

Side of the family

We are the ones to care

For the rest while they have

Thier Zion on earth.

Jimmy could not handle it

He still had to deal

With the grandparents

His family were not sure

Who we were but that

He was being committed 

To yet one more

Mental hospital

And perhaps for life

This time because

He got caught 

Trying to make plans

To blow up the White House.

Grandma Hazel was found

By myself at the bottom

Of the stairs of an apartment

Instead of all the fancy homes

As a Radio Star Reporter

Should have had access

I was just sixteen

And had to answer those questions

That no adult can respond

They might even attempted

To have me prosecuted

Instead old Alona came

And stoled the clothes

Off of my grandmother

Three different outfits

She was wearing 

When the polcie finally arrestesd her

She is one of those girls

Who always wants what

Someone else has

It is so funny

She says as I walk past

She was inssteing

The Johnstons 

Were not good enough for her

She is still stealing whatever 

She can including my name.

I have five fine culinary certificates

I know how to skin an Alona

She always threatened 

To skin my cat

Najma the siamese

Who was on the 

I Spy series

As the kitten 

Of an Empress

May as well call me

An Empress

Honey

Because I am not going

To allow Alona 

That privilege!

I came home from

A long day 

Preparing food

In front of a camera

Sweating it out

Worse than a real kitchen

Cant make a mistake

In front of those live watchers

While I climbed the stairs

With the fresh food 

To cook for my grandpa

Who had rescued me

From his own daughter

I was told by Mary

That something was wrong

People had been kncocking

On the door all day

They had even gone inside

And she knew I did not want

That old man disturbed

He was not going to be disturbed

Anymore

He sat at my kitchen table

With a bullet in his head

He had been the paratrooper

Who landed on the wrong side

Ran the wrong way

And in order to keep 

From becoming a POW

In a German camp

Went to live with the allies

Known as Russians

His mother in law

Had left St Petersburg

Just before the revolt

He had made it sure 

That his wife did not go to

Leningrad

There he was learning

The language and the ways

To survive from the opposition.

Came home to an angry wife

Lost her and his way of life

Spent alot of time on boats

Yet he began to find himself

Standing in a grocery store

Without a wallet

Trying to figure out 

How to pay for the groceries

Which is why he was living with me.

He was a war hero

Jack not Jimmy

Killed by jimmy

To leave me a message

The crazy kid 

Was dangerous after all.

And where we you?

Where are you know?

Jimmy has done it again

Leaving me messages

Destroying the lives of others

He has been tearing down historic houses

Allowing the wrong ones

To have the things set aside

For me when it was time

Thirty nine and size zero

She was not supposed to live 

So long with her brain

Eighty percent gone 

Left with a four year old

That no one else noticed

What was I to do?

I even found myself 

One day not in Kansas

Always moving towards

The diplomacy

I ended up being written in

On a few political dramas

This one was not for the Mayor

Come on!

Had a heart attack

When I realized I was running

For President

And not the United States

I am American 

But lived elsewhere

Really!

Where were you that day

When I needed to hold you hand?

Well, I have been watching

The dead bodies again

All over the place

Lying on the streets

Under the trolley I was on

And quietly taken out 

Of the residence I live.

Most of them were either

COVD19 or pneumonia

I know there was at least one

Of those who gave me something.

There was a mini epidemic

A decade ago 

When I left town

Attempting to reside

In one of my inherited homes

In Washington

But was escorted outside

I am not sure if it is still standing.

There it is on my lab results

Going over my medical records

To see where the doctor has gone wrong

Still have those tumors in my uterus

And yes my thyroid is none functioning

Cant explain my fatigue

Must have Lupus or something

Are you ready?

I want dozens of roses

From you and a flourless chocolate cake

Hepatis A A/B

Reactive!

How did the doctor miss it?

Because the nurses have been 

Prescribing diabetic medicines

Instead of seeing there is a reason

I who don't eat sugar

Have an abnormal lab result

Should be in a coma

Instead I have been laying

Down too much

Cant get my chores done

Nor do i want to eat

Just lay down

Not even sleep.

So terribly exhausted

Good thing

You were not here

Or you might have caught it

As well.

Thank goodness 

You have been preoccupied

Nonreactive means negative

This is a positive result

I either have had it already

Or have it now.

My liver it at risk.

I have been not drinking

Even my white wine.

Where were you

The day I caught this disease

So help me god

If jimmy starts in on me

About my dead sister

Being alive 

So many of those girls

Don't know anything

Except what they steal 

Even Martha Raddatz

Is sitting there explaining to me

She does not understand

She does not look like me

Nor does Julia Roberts!

All those funerals I missed

Because I had a feeling

Not to attend

While I felt so ill inside

Hepatitis is very not nice

I am a survivor

But that is not going

To get you off the hook.

I want to know when you 

Are not going to be

Somewhere else

But sitting next to me....

Happy Winter Solstice!

The Icelandic Volcano erupted

In celebration of Nature

While everyone else

Has their winter holiday

I still listen to the ancient ones

While I consider ways 

Of having Jimmy eliminated

As is fair of his behavior

Where are you?

I am here waiting

For you honey