As a small child my mother seemed to cruel but was having a complete mental breakdown.
She never wanted children and I was the first, which meant she could no longer be her parents only child.
She could no longer be the young virgin girl she had everyone believing, her fantasy world was created due to unwarranted events from the Second world war.
She was almost thirty and kept on having children.
But I was to blame for her loss of freedom, it was always my fault.
She had also been married for at least five years to the same boy she grew up.
Anyways, as usual I was sent outside by her in this new location.
We moved a lot; in her day she always made her parents believe she was in danger.
In our childhood, she made life unbearable until another place was found.
She also had the second generation of German saboteurs who are still seeking our souls.
I have been dealing with the third generation as my grandmother encountered the first.
Some people don't get it that they were vanquished, it was her in-laws who got caught going back after the Great war.
Followed home, they were never left alone by those who wanted what did not belong to them in the first place.
These people were part of the problem and fire was often used to smoke us out, what they really wanted besides everything of ours is still to be determined.
As I sat in the dark waiting for grandfather to come for me as he usually had to in order to keep peace.
I lived with grandpa until he got tired of her demands, he had his own life now that he was hoe from the war.
By then it was too late for everyone as she had developed brain cancer instead of conscious.
On this night he was sleeping in his car having been drugged, poor old man who helped down Hitler but not these German saboteurs.
My father apparently had come home and then gone out to make sure the perimeter was safe.
I believe they found him the next morning with his head bashed in the bushes.
The scene was set for them who sought us to play.
The play including setting fire to the house with the kids inside.
My mother had come out to see what was wrong and may have accidently ignited what was left.
Or she may have not known what she was doing as many doctors told her parent's.
There were others present and we may never know because they can't speak the truth.
My life was always a struggle seeking my family or shelter away from these people.
This night the fire burst into flames as i slept in the back yard.
I heard a scream and then knew the others needed me to get them.
They were in the basement waiting for the clear signal.
Perhaps for me to not know they were also at home with my parents.
My mother thought I could live forever with my grandfather.
While she kept having children of her own.
This night they were desperate to get out of the east coast house basement.
We struggled until one of the windows gave way.
Two small, scared children crawled out alive.
The whole house was on fire, engulfed in flames.
A crew was going through the motions of putting it out.
But they were not real fireman, but the fire bugs themselves.
As we stepped around the flames, my mother sat there is full revelry crying for all the world.
She always loved a good cry and kept up the game as long as possible.
Her favorite son stepped forward to explain our situation.
Her shock and disbelief were hard to overcome.
Someone was acting as if they were a reporter, asking questions.
He began to expound on everything not realizing that it was not real.
The other one and I got together, and he went for help only to be captured.
I went searching for her, the other one of us girls.
I knew after a little while that there was something missing.
The other reason I was not allowed to stay without mothers' permission.
My mirror image, my sister, two girls in one family.
I found her in part of the basement, usually it was under the bed.
I knew her well; she had crawled in a back space to hide instead of escaping.
I took an axe to break open a window, thankyou on the east coast for basement windows.
And then hooked my feet while I lowered by head.
I was able to just reach her arms and began to lift.
Then I saw her doll was beginning to roll.
I had to stop and wiggle until I could catch its foot.
Now I had to lift her head up to the window for her to get air.
While I hung upside down clutching a foot.
Somehow, I managed with my small body to hold them both.
And then just as I got her out of the window, and she was about to speak.
Someone came up behind us and took the doll.
It was really a baby brother, one I was not supposed to know about.
She was guarding him from the others as it was promised that four was enough.
I crawled out of the window and dragged her to the light.
Then I ran or fell forward several times.
I heard a car engine and went for it.
I got to the car as Duanne, two annas, twins were about to get away.
He yelled at me about having had a baby.
This was the story I did not know.
That my mother was accusing a five-year-old of having had a baby.
I guess this started so she would not go to jail or the nut house.
She really could not understand how to deal with children especially her own.
Her way out was to blame me and then send me away so I could not argue with her.
Duanne could not understand that he could not have sex with children.
He had a court order on him and here he was, and he had stolen the newest infant.
I reached in and took his keys out of the ignition.
One could do that in those days and then I had to kick and kick.
But eventually, new brother and I were outside the car.
An angry Duanne threatened murder and he meant it.
I could remember him strangling me on more than one occasion.
Others complained I had amnesia, some memory loss yes but not completely gone.
By this time our spokesman was going into overdrive.
He knew by now something was wrong.
But had no way to stop speaking, he took a deep breath and kept on going.
She had stopped crying and was getting angry.
Still no real firefighters had shown up meaning they had yet to hear about the fire.
That meant the other one had disappeared because he always made it clear when help was needed.
I collapsed on top of sister to see what she was doing.
Together we guarded the little one.
And then we managed to get up and started walking away.
The adults had had enough and took mother and the middle child.
Poor boy.
All he ever wanted was peace.
Left to ourselves we wandered through an unfamiliar landscape.
I had traveled a lot on my own as I was always the lost one.
Grandpa never did get that she was not going to keep me a minute longer than necessary.
I'm not sure how we found the place.
Pennsylvania has a few oddities and few odd fellows.
We sat down on the bench of an artist's barn.
In the morning he found us sitting there with our identical head together.
He made us something to drink while he had moved us inside.
He was quietly drawing us as we sat there sipping our drinks.
A set of twins was a god send.
No artist would have passed it up.
Somewhere in an attic is at least a drawing of us together.
My mother did not allow us to be seen together.
We did do commercials together.
After she died, she had the commercials split in half.
So, no one would remember that there was two.
Then I was allowed to live with her as long as I did not give away which one, I was.
This day, we were waiting to see what had happened.
We also had been drugged.
The kind lady who was helping the man did not know any better.
They were also drugged in the end.
First mother showed up angry.
She sat trying to convince my sister that everything that had happened was my fault.
I was trying to keep the baby from her arms until she stopped being angry.
Then grandmother showed up but said that young lady had jabbed her with a needle.
Here we go again, what do these people want?
The adults all collapsed on the ground while I had not drunk anything this time.
Someone with a golf cart had pulled up across the street.
I dragged grandmother over to it and then pushed sister in as well.
I knew how to drive a golf cart and went like hell down the street.
I found my way to the emergency room.
Probably the last place I should have gone.
But it felt like safety.
We mentioned that the adults were down on their faces.
That our house had burnt down, and no real firefighters had come.
That dad, grandpa and the two boys were missing.
Then we were escorted into the rooms.
When I woke up, grandma and I had both flatlined.
She had had a heart attack and they said I had suffered a sympathy attack.
Mother was brought in even madder than before.
The other adults were worried about the world that used drugs.
The boys were put out on the police radio as abducted.
Grandpa was found sleeping or waking up and also very angry.
Dad was found in the bushes equally upset.
And the whole house had burnt down because no one had called in a fire.
These same people who were just having fun with American authorities had put out the radio tower.
I think they rewired every community we lived in so they could prevent any sudden phone calls.
Worse than living in a communist soviet country.
Eventually our woods were taken from us as well as our house.
They took everything they could these people.
And not once did they think of the night, they trapped five children in a house on fire.
They did not care, and they did it on purpose.
Come Christmas time they had thought of a new way to kill us children.
An auto accident which I have described.
Again, they got rid of the other adults.
Captured my mother and left us kids to find our way home.
Then they followed us down the highway.
The auto accident took another man's wife and one year old daughter.
It took my other halves life from them as well.
Again, they stooled the boys from our family.
That next morning found a stranger sleeping on our sofa.
My grandmother had been abandoned at a train station but was now making coffee.
In walks my dad with a bunch of boys that were not his.
His one daughter was now dead and the unwanted first born sitting there instead.
That time we got two of the boys back, but the baby had been lost.
That was the Christmas we did not have.
We were never a family again.
There were other times when we crawled out of smoke or gas filled houses.
We journeyed together for a while we three survivors.
In the end, it was the fire of the house in the woods.
It was the final straw.
My mother sitting there crying over her lost children who were not dead.
But two were about to disappear, one to the grave.
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