Some little girls...

 

She just did not know what she was doing the day she cried on daddy's shoulder. But daddy....

It is so hard to know how to deal with children when they want things that are not theirs to have.

A man can't buy his daughter a princess title for real. Some Americans attempted this avenue only to have it end in bankruptcy.

Look at Astor, one of the richest men but got divorced and married a nobody who then inherited everything her and her unborn baby when the Titanic went down.

Look at Kate Middleton, so miserable. At least Diana was an Earls daughter and not just an airline stewardess bastard. Overnight mail order business became billionaires and now all she can do is sit there and purposely irate the youngest prince just to have attention focused on her instead of that Jubilee nonsense.

What did she do I wonder that caused the path towards a night gone wrong?

Alot of girls end up driving their car into a lake or pond and not being found for at least a decade or two.

Another one just was found in California, a week after she went missing, strapped into her car seat.

Just wanted to go to a party at a lake and then disappeared in front of her family.

My father had the same trouble with me or not me.

Demi Moore was one of the girls and Thelma Louise Weatherford among the many who showed up demanding they were the real daughter of the family.

The real daddy's Princess, except it was my little sister that died who managed to snag the title from war hero grandpa on a visit to the old nations stomping grounds.

It was always assumed i had the title as well, but my mother always took it for others to play with, her mind was so small. 

How could you not see harm coming to a bunch of girls, more than two hundred who want to be princess not for a day as my mother would allow them, but for a lifetime of cheap thrills.

Six months ago, I awoke to my world coming to an end once again.

I am American and Native American and Russian. 

The last thing I wanted was a war between Kiev and Moscow.

Who started the damned thing?

And stop throwing blame but get over it, there was once a beautiful country called Russia America in California that had culture and class. 

Those people disappeared due to the soviets. and then when that collapsed, it was worse all the German high-handed girls showed up claiming freedom but instead just ruined what was left of our culture.

They even taught Russian in schools when I was growing up and Spanish was not one of the options when my father was a young man.

Now it is all Spanish this and Communism that, none of the Latino girls understand that Catholic does not mean prostitute. Even Selena emphasized this culture despite her family being Jehovah's Witnesses. 

One can only wonder what happened one night in the Zelensky's house. 

He has a little girl whom I imagine wants to be a Disneyland Princess.

Which one of the girls does she want to be Anastasia? The missing Romanoff Princess?

Or Queen Esther of the bible?

How do fathers tell their daughters that enough is enough.

They don't. Sometimes they are not even aware that their daughters are asking them to make them into the boss.

But the boss, is what they are, sitting there sweetly with their fingers making it clear they are innocent and unsure of why there is so much trouble.

Even if the other girls don't get what they want, who cares. It is nothing to her, she just wants to be told when and where. She just wants to be included.

It was her car keys wasn't it that got found when things went wrong, and no one could understand how the wrong person showed up and used needles on the girl who was supposed to be left alone.

Now she is dead, and it was her father's car.

Her father who said to be the mastermind of a war that no one wants.

The brains of causing so many others to be denied the right to live and breathe.

We are now told he is behind the war and yet the Zelensky's who are nice people still won't let go of those who want to go and become their own.

Meanwhile, a man who was hailed a hero is being seen as a villain.

He has daughters as well; they might not be his own and his wife was never loyal to him.

But he did what any old good soviet did, he bite the bullet and kept his wife and daughters comfortable.

Now they are fabulously rich and don't do anything at all for old dad.

She even left him for another younger man while he keeps dallying around considering what he wants.

What he wants is his job, what he had was a family and a country. 

Now he has nothing and is doing what he is expected while he wanders around with no certain home.

Maybe Zelensky can ask forgiveness and walk away before there is too much more harm to the entire area.

Otherwise, there might not be a six-month anniversary next but a decade long aftermath.

Someone has to give in at some point and stop pointing fingers.

We all want Donbas to have freedom. We all want the Zelensky's to go to Disneyworld and have a grand time.

We also want to know where they plan to be when it is over, and no one has a place to call home.

I have no home to go to because a bunch of Germans kept crying about big bad wolf Russia.

My father lost his mother when he was three weeks old.

He was adopted out because he was Indian.

His white aunt actually kidnaped him and ran till her husband came home with the navy fleet.

He managed to keep her out of prison, his nephew in his home and the other family out of his hair.

While his young brother-in-law never did find peace of mind even though he remarried and had other children.

Some things never are the same again.

My father lost his youngest of two daughters when she was only five.

He made a special wooden casket for her and then stayed with her until they made him leave.

He was never the same and she was never buried in the fashion he imagines.

He could go places and do things because he knew she was safe. She was not.

Neither was his life ever the same nor would those other girls understand.

Get a life of your own, but they still come back, it is just a game to them.

And nothing more. Nothing more than getting even or making the other girl suffer.

I was known as the lady of sorrows. Crying for no reason. Having been sent out of the Catholic San Francisco community into the Russian Orthodox school near the French Legion of Honor. 

I grew up speaking French and Russian and not knowing I was not supposed to until I meet a bunch of Germans who wanted to know what English was not good enough.

Because they were not my community nor culture, I never did understand them, but my mother bought into their life and lost hers.

Soriety girls are the worst in the world. They claim allegiance but never will tell the other girl what they have to do on her wedding night.

Anyways my misery was about suffering my childhood and getting to adulthood and raising my siblings and giving myself to my relatives and my religion.

I was abandoned by all of them over a bunch of Germans who now wanted to invade China.

They had a fine time in China and now we have Monkeypox. No that is what they brought home when thy invaded Africa. Coronavirus is what they brought home with them.

More body bags, more body bags. 

Home people were not even buried but just burnt in the city parks or thrown into the rivers in hope.

Hope which they claim was the last thing to come out of Pandoras box seems to have gotten lost.

I have meet a number of mean people just today and yesterday and last week.

I thought things were bad, so I crept into a dungeon in order to protect myself.

I figured everyone else would go by me and deal with their own issues.

Instead, my migraines are getting worse, and I am reliving my past few years in a dreadful nightmare.

If a person wakes up in the same bed, they think they have gone to bed in, then they assume they have been nowhere else.

But I keep screaming in my mind about certain people and I am begging to believe Jimmy has been having fun with me again. and again. 

Hmm, might as well see what is out there.

Tap, tap, scrapppp

Oh, its horrible.

Just horrible.

Dark and damp and dangerous.

The world outside is just as I felt it was while I have been meditating inside my dungeon.

Might as well get all the way up to the tower and see what is not flooded, blown up or dying.

Maybe my little sister can come with me this time and see some light, 

She was Hope when we were little, and I was faith.

My faith is never fragile, but sometimes more than others can handle.

Its time a little Hope finds something nice in the world. 

I used to carry her when we were little because she was too fragile.

Then I almost died from kidney failure, and they gave me her kidney.

I have been carrying her since then and dealing with not a dual personality but a dual world view.