Lets pretend...

 

Twenty-five hundreds of them have washed up

On the shores of the Caspian Sea

Let's pretend Jimmy was never born

What would our lives be like collectively?

He just walked in and the guard

Was laying there dead on the floor already.

He did not know what to do

So, he sat down at the controls

He could not find the number 

To the police station

It is 9-1-1!

Then he realized he could make phone calls

Happy Jimmy began calling 

Everyone he felt like 

Threatening and explaining 

That there was a dead body on the floor

They had better do what he says or else

The stupid girl was on the line

Her radio show was popular

Enough for her to be on in the evenings

When people were at home.

So, he set about destroying 

Her and her family once again

Simply by walking into the building

At the right time.

What if it was the Pentagon!

Oh, right we had that scenario

Where everyone was hiding 

Behind their desks and in closets

Until his psychologist who happened

To be in the building as well

Recognized his voice

And told him to stop playing around.

He wasn't really playing around

But he did as he was told

And waited for the right moment

When the guy had a nervous breakdown

Because everything he was working on

Did not turn out correctly

Then he got cancer and died

Of pneumonia 

A little bit earlier than expected.

Jimmy, Jimmy

Can I blame these deaths on you?

2500 of them

Just lying on the beach?

Seals here are dying of unknown causes

Whales in Australia are beaching themselves

You don't have a recording of yourself

Singing "I wish I was a bullfrog"

Playing underwater somewhere, do you?

Otherwise in the news

Are volcanoes erupting

Three of them

Hawaii which is just a series

Of Hotspots spread out in an arc

Is spewing out its life 

All over the place 

With 145 feet high 

Red lava hitting the sky

While Betty A dreams

She is in the Lake of Fire

From having moved into an empty house

There in Hawaii

El Salvador and Indonesia

Are also having troubles

With their volcanoes

Tricky things 

No one knows why and when

They will go off

And here three of them in the same

General area of the Pacific

All those earthquakes 

Being reported here and there

Just like Revelations

Small ones but a lot of them

Causing alarm among

No one at all 

Christians long ago

Stopped looking for the signs 

Of Autmn bringing the end of the world

There lights out in Hawaii

With residences accustomed to losing power

Due to their location 

But in Kiev 

It is a different story

They are among the spoiled Europeans

Who never go without

Never heard of an area of the world

Where there are no streets lights

Nor washing machines 

And telephone booths

When visiting they think one is crazy

Call someone to come fix it

There is no one to call.

Much of America is still rural

Even my location is a valley outside of town

It is less than ten minutes by car

But last year when there was a garbage strike!

No service for three months 

While they fussed and fretted 

All the way down south 

Where he is living

In my town and won't get out

Go home, just go home!

He was born in Munich

But his mama was from the south

And his daddy a Vermonter

Talk about backwards and rural

Why don't he live in Los Angeles?

Where his daddy had the longest kids show...

Do you know Jimmy that your real Pappa

Has his own Star, that walk of fame?

It is there on Vine Street

It has been there since June of 1976

While others were in Canada for the Olympics

You were getting your picture taken

With good old dad 

Who allowed you on your show

And you had turned 18 an adult

And then you flung yourself 

Into a military transport plane

Instead of the Las Vegas coming of age

Ceremony, too shy to reveal

Instead, you wanted a second chance

At being a teenager

Showed up at the wrong family's door

Told a little lie to the father

Said you and his daughter were having

A relationship, just get out now

And he did or at least

After his operation he went off

With the wrong girl explaining to him

That she was his daughter 

And she was not a virgin

But also, pregnant!

It took many years for me and my family

To figure out went wrong

All he had to do was have his operation

And then when the bandages were taken off

He was going to be able to see again

And go back to work as an engineer

Instead, he traveled around

Doing almost nothing in his frustration

All those plans he had made for her

I could not believe I had been accused

Of having a baby at twelve years old

But Jimmy kept having it explained to him

That some girls were only 12 instead of 16

All those silly lies and he bought them all

Well, well now what is Zelensky going to do

Laugh off the cold dead bodies 

Of his victims in his own city?

As a leader he should have foreseen 

This outcome instead of asking for more toys

It is not Christmas anymore 

But the end of the world

For many of those people

I once lived among

His mother was an engineer for the Soviets

And my father was an American engineer

Who often took assignments to get his family

Away from all those Germans Catholics Communists

Who did not understand why we world trust them

But invited them into our country anyways.

Silly Americans never trust a German

Especially one outside his own home.

They are still not done with us yet.

I recall some of my childhood in Kiev

It was not pleasant, and it was not bad.

I was asked to leave when I attempted

To return as an adult journalist.

My mother had lived through 

Every bank robbery possible

In America but could not handle

Some guys joking around with her

That her husband had been taken hostage

She ran with the only car 

All the way to the border

Leaving us kids behind

Unfortunately, she went the wrong direction

And while that was being taken care of

We found our father in hot water

But not for what was told

Sadly, we were never really a family again.

I am sad for those who do not understand

The freedom of others

Who won't listen to allowing

Some to just go their own way

Instead of sitting in the dark

And getting angry at the wrong person

Politics are never nice

And war is worse than anything

But not giving people the right to chose

Is a sin against God and Humanity

For Christmas I wish they could

All wake up with fresh eyes

To see the world the way it really 

Is, hard, cruel and not nice at all.

Perhaps they can do something on their end

To end not poverty but impoliteness

Send them away is all Pharoah was told

Instead, he watched his fields destroyed

His Nile River bloodied

His people devastated by plague after plague

And then his own sone dead

All because he did not want to listen

To the wisdom of the people

Instead of the politicians

They say the other guy is sick and old

What does he have to lose

At this stage?

Younger men should be braver.

Even the Rurik's awoke one morning

And found that the dynasty they had

Built was no more 

Or at least not theirs anymore

Some guy named Roman

Had founded a city far away

In the wilds and called it Moscow

After the many mosques 

That were built there on that foreign soil

The ruling family called themselves

Not after the original guy named Rurik or Rurikides

But new romans or Romanovs.

Let that be a lesson to all who still reside

In the old capital

It can be over in just one night.

The living descendants not even remembered

Nor wanted at all.

They have their own new regime

The best to those who are planning 

Any service at all for the birth of Christ

Who was to bring joy to the world

Not even Saint Petersburg

Is attempting such a feat

As celebrating this winter

Take notice Kiev

The shores are full of dead bodies

Of sea life, let not your streets 

Become completely empty.

Wooden Moscow was burnt down

Many times, by its own inhabitants.

Let's pretend a little mutant had not been born

"It's a wonderful life" 

And no one depended on his arising in the morning....