Closer to home

 

Anyone got a spare thyroid gland?

Just hanging around and not being used?

I have been informed that not only is mine caput,

But it needs to be replaced.

Where am I supposed to get another one?

Whine, whine, whine...

Do you know about the Monarch Highway?

I used to give this lecture is school.

Monarch butterflys and seadragons.

I also worked as a volunteer at the natural perserves

Looks good on your college application.

Those things are so long and tedious.

And completely useless.

When you finally get to class

They sit in a room and decide if you deserve

A good enough grade to pass

It is the work afterwards that is important.

Making up thier minds based on your shopping

And where you do your laundry

That sort of nosense.

Really, I caught them at it.

I thought school age stunts 

Where all the past.

I once had this kid name Aaron

Stand behind me and put his arm on the wall

I had just been returned to my parents

I made the Milk carton as a missing child.

He always made me nervous

And when we had to do the country swing dance

As our classes contribution to the schools performance.

I almost threw up and then sat down 

Getting myself in all sorts of trouble

Wasnt allowed to do something else

I just couldnt stand the kid.

Anyways the grades you get 

Are used to determine if you are hireable or not

These modern kids who just want

It to be thier classes or thier subjects.

Instead of a career carefully selected.

Those Monarch butterflies are the only ones

Who migrate throughout the world.

No other butterfly does that for winter.

They go south to Mexico for the holidays

And then arrive back North for the Spring festivities.

In my current location they have shown up

Just a few of them looking as if they are lost.

This is not a nice place anymore.

But it was once a church and a chalet

With gardens or a cemetary.

Maybe they are remembering it

A hundred years ago when it still had plants!

Where oh where am I supposed to  find 

A spare thyroid gland.

Its not like a catalytic convertor.

I had to replace so many of those 

When I drove my fancy foreign car.

I kept swearing to the garage 

That I had just replaced it.

Where they sure it was broken again.

Honey this thing is so old,

Your grandmother must have been driving that car.

Sigh, they now have arrested a ring of thieves,

In Sacramento who are stealing catalytic converters.

The little lady is not always wrong!

Well, I had one of those doctor exams,

Where he made me move every body part,

That I had and hope on one foot 

And squat at the letters at the end of the hall.

I need new glasses as well!

I don't walk to well 

Nor turn around either

That car accident I had has not made me 

Any younger nor flexible.

They even took x-rays of my shoulder.

I might have injured it when I kept myself 

From falling face forward 

But fractured my big toe.

My walking stick comes in handy.

Especially when my left leg

Decides it has had enough

And begins to drift backwards.

In the end he was more concerned.

About my butterfly in my throat.

That is what it is called, the Thyroid gland.

It is shaped as a butterfly 

But it is not supposed to move

Nor migrate but mine burnt out.

I have these awful sore throats.

Could not take another bite of ice cream

Trying to cool it down it was so hot.

I had lost all that weight 

And all they wanted was to have me committed

For being gravely endangered

Thats anorexic for laymen.

I fought them but they put me on a weight

Increasing diet which did not work

Until the car accident 

When some girl named Demetria

Named after Demi

Swooped into the broken car

And encircled my throat 

Squeezing so hard

That two of the vertebrae

Twisted 270 on me

Maybe the thing was squeezed to death.

It down run no more

And an auto mechanic is not going to fix it.

Nor is my current doctor.

The more I exercise and walk

The more I diet with my special needs

All i do is look plumper

And bread bones that should not break

From lack of nutrients.

Wait till I tell him about the new recommendation.

He will probably pass out on the floor.

This guy wanted to know why I had no medicine.

It flat out told me I needed to have it replaced.

I had no idea they did such things.

As replace the thyroid

But it is a little motor

Isn't it?

Next of kin!

Line up, I need one of you to volunteer!

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