Five you say?

 

Australia zoo claims to have had five large cats escape from their enclosure.

They were spotted just walking around as if they were tourist.

Jimmy used to do that every time he was incarcerated.

Just start walking around until he was on the outside.

He was good at the hand off and pick pocket routine.

Have no idea how many have been wrongly locked up.

Instead of him, myself included.

What are you doing in here?

Well, you see...get out of here.

Slam, that was rude.

And they did not even serve breakfast.

Poor little cub had to be shot with a tranquilizer.

He did not want to stop playing.

His mama and siblings were caught.

Just loitering ma'am, were just loitering.

They were forced back inside their cage.

While the one rogue had to be hunted down.

And shot with a dart and dragged by its tail.

Reminds me of the old days

When I tried to make a split from my mother.

I always ended up with "happy" medicine.

And Jimmy instead of my father or grandfather

Or just about anyone else but Jimmy.

They say in the south they lost a 22-foot snake.

It took itself on a little vacation.

They sent out word to the community.

Homeless individual is perhaps sprawled

In one of your sheds, garages, or bedrooms.

It had a fine time and then went quietly home

After about a week to its enclosure aquarium.

Well, the things that go wrong in a community!

Don't dare walk down the street anymore.

Can't even get a ride on a bus without being charged twice.

I just want my tooth pulled out!

How hard can that be!

Come on, the insurance even says they will pay.

Just want to chew my food, taste my food

Swallow my pills, sleep at night.

You know that sort of thing.

What with worrying over Nancy

Getting abducted and after she was almost kidnapped

It is absolutey exhausting having a female speaker of the house.

It is so hard to get good security to protect such a precious commodity.

I do hope Kamala's staff are a little bit better prepared.

Although they did let her car get bumped on the way to work.

Who professionally trained lets anyone that close?

These women might take over the office of President.

If Joe should take a really bad fall one day on those steep stairs.

Who has a man his age climbing anyways?

Well, at least he won't accidently run into Jimmy in the toilets.

Yeltsin did that at the Library of Congress.

Did I ever tell you I used to work there?

Well, I don't anymore.

"This guy just came into the toilets"

And he says he wants me to hand over the Presidency to him?

I have lost more jobs that way.

And I am just supposed to sit and smile when he comes.

It does not work, and I want my life back.

Right now! Right now!

Do I really have to chop his excellencies head off?

They don't still use the guillotine anymore.

Do they?

Much more definite than that electric chair he sat in once.

That did nothing at all.

And I am not even the one who put him there.

Wonder whom I am the parent of today?

There are so many naive and stupid people.

Who believes a child gave birth to them.

And when a judge tells you he is sure than believe him.

I broke my toe the other day 

It feels as if there is red hot knife 

Attacking me.

More Tylenol, more.

Election day.

Hope everyone has the chance

To vote for themselves 

And not someone else do it for them.

That is called slavery.

I used to be the on call girl.

I was there when everyone came in 

And when they left at night.

Used to joke I lived there in the studio.

Until they started investigating 

Where I did really live.

Can't joke with anyone anymore.

I was the associated press person

Excuse me? Did this really happen.

Usually got hung up on.

Had a good knowledge of the yellow pages.

Not going to explain what that is to the new girls.

Just text it to them someone, will you.

They don't have white pages anymore, by the way.

It is all online, not really, everything is private cell phones.

I made it all the way upstairs to my godfathers desk.

And that is where I was stopped.

His father would have been ashamed of him.

He had done the same thing to my grandmother.

Go home! Get out of my workspace! Find a man, have a baby.

Do something and then this weekend 

We can have dinner and spend some time together.

Peter was not that bad but under fire from everyone.

It's just that Jimmy did not want me on tv.

His dad was Captain Kangaroo 

And he got to be on his dads show anytime.

Jimmy even had to be carried off GMA

They picked the whole couch and moved him out.

Joan still had to go find another job.

Will someone tell me where this kid comes from?

Asked old Cronkite.

He also had to go find another job.

Jimmy is a useless never worked celebrity kid 

Who sells everything from Cookie Roberts underwear

To the address of a notorious criminal 

And nuclear plans, he has hundreds of them in his drawer.

Harmless, the guy is completely harmless.

Maybe we can talk about something else tomorrow.

Anyone seen my cell phone....