Oh no, not that time again!

 

Suzie was having one of those wonderful sleeps. 

After so many years of living in cars.

And spying on her friends,

She finally had a home.

It was a small trailer

A stolen one at that

But she could raise her kids.

Or at least pretend to raise them in hell.

Heathens and rogues are better names 

Then Justin and Janet.

All that pleasure in securing the rights

To all of Carol's possessions....

Over some stupid argument 

Over whom was going to rule the world.

It was election day, something she had not even heard

And Carol was talking as if she knew 

This man named Harry Truman.

She was on her way and 

Ken had to get in her way

Asking for a kiss from her.

It was so hilarious to think 

Of those two getting together

But Ken wanted to kiss the princess.

As she called herself....

Candy, candy get off my back

Candy's head appears at her shoulder

As she was sleeping...

What is it you want?

Hey, what are you doing in my room?

She hated her younger sister.

Should never have been born!

What is it, eeeeee

Candance!

What have you done?

You head, your head.

As if Candace the Queen of Ethiopia

Could speak to her now,

That it had been severed

Clean off her shoulders.

Not lovely shoulders either.

There she was her horrible 

Face twisted into its true form.

Hanging out over her body 

And now covered in blood.

What the hell....

Eddie wakes up

Wake up!

Where the hell have you been all night?

Right her honey.

Well, look what crawled into bed with us?

Holding up Candys's head.

Eddies was not to sorry to see it was no longer 

Attached, never tell the wife about the in laws.

Call John, see if he knows

Where candy is?

He never knows.

Oh, John!

Mummble, mumble

Who the hell are you?

Is Candy there?

Can I speak to my sister?

Susie, my god 

Do you know what time it is?

Just turn over and see

Candy, he slaps her ass

Slap, slap, no response

She here alright

Sleeping harder than a rock.

Check and see, if, her face.

What?

What do you want me to do?

Wake up and check on your wife!

Candance, your sister is on the phone

She wants to speak to you

Right now, right now!

Yow! Holy Muhammed!

I got get back to you.

Click.

If you are looking for her face

John, it is sitting on my kitchen counter!

Really, he hung up on me.

Eddie, get up and get dressed.

What am I going to do dressed?

Go over and find John is doing.

Why would I do that?

He must have the bottom half.

He was slapping her bottom.

I could hear him.

Now get over there and find out 

What he is going to do next.

Really, who do I know?

Alona, she has always wanted to kill Candy

Who else and is she really dead.

Why don't we just call the police?

Says, Eddie as he is slowly pulling his pants on.

He stares at the face a long time.

While his wife holds her breath.

Okay, I will go over and see what the poor guy is doing.

Digging in the trash cans is what John was doing.

Every one of them.

For a square mile around his house.

What are you doing?

Eddie has snuck up behind John.

What the hell are you doing here?

Doing what my wife bides me in the middle of the night.

By the way, where is yours?

I don't know right now.

Just looking for something.

Anything in particular?

A bowling ball shape thing.

Let's go back to your house.

No, no we can't do that.

Why not?

I don't want to disturb the sleeping beauty.

That will be a first.

Look John you need to come talk to Suzie.

Not right now.

Eddie gives him a long baneful look.

Its either your house or Candance on the phone.

Or my house and Suzie in person.

Oh god help me.

What time is it?

Too late for both of us.

Oh my god!

Helpless, John for once does as he is told.

As he enters the house 

He has it all worked out.

How he will get Carol to imitate Candy

And then they will let him go back.

To looking for his wife's head.

While her headless corpse lays on their bed.

John!

Gulp, Suzie!

What the hell is this getting me up in the middle of the night!

I want an explanation!

Of what to do with Eddie?

Lock him up in a cage.

See if I care

Now let me go home.

Look on my counter.

Why, hell...

What is that?

Thats what I want to know?

Where did you find it?

In my bed on my shoulder.

With Eddie sleeping next to you?

Yes, now explain.

I don't know what you want 

Me to tell you, it is your house.

I mean how it got here from your house.

It was there on her pillow

When I went to sleep.

Let me see that thing.

Owe, it is wet 

I tried to wash it out.

Why?

It was bleeding all over me.

I had to take a shower 

Without Eddie?

John!

Look we all have to stay calm.

I will just take this back.

And put it on her pillow.

And then what?

In the morning, 

She will just get up and start yelling

As usual, 

Why?

Now John, says Eddie...

Knock, Knock

Did you call the cops on me?

He says as he throws his wives

Head up in the air 

And dives out the back door.

Eddie takes pursuit 

Of the lunatic

While Suzie calmy walks to the door.

Yes, Officers?

What can I do for you?

Meanwhile, she has caught her sister's head 

And tucked into her elbow.

Hamlet?

What?

Are you practicing for Hamlet?

What!

The dead head on your arm?

Is it for a play?

Or no, it is for something else.

What can I help you with?

We tracked a homeless man

To your house, he was going through 

All the garbage cans around the Clubhouse.

The witness said they thought 

Your husband had picked him up.

Are you guys giving him a bed for the night?

Her let me take that thing from you.

Do you mind if we come in and check

To see if the guy is harmless

You shouldn't bring strangers inside

They might be dangerous or contagious.

Hey guys!

This is a real head!

Suzie faints in the hallway.

The cops have to move her body to get inside.

They enter and quickly search.

You want an ambulance and a morgue van?

Two different bodies.

One is fully alive.

The other one is only a head.

A head!

Really, all the nonsense things

She had to drive all the way back

To get the keys, because some nut

Has locked everyone out.

Unless they have keys, they have to pay

Full price

John, she whispers are you awake?

Candy, Candy where are you

Alona quietly lets herself into the house

She creeps around the Kitchen 

Then she goes to the bedroom

Someone has had a fight

Everything is tossed here and there

She sees her foot and approaches

What are you doing on the floor!

She screams at Candace.

Did John try to kill you or something.

Candy, stop playing dead.

She moves closer and drapes her sister 

Over her shoulders

And then leads her into the front room.

Where she intends to sit her down on the couch.

And have a good heart to heart talk 

When she realizes that something is not right.

Look Candy where is your head?

Thats is what I would like to know

Says, John from the shadows.

He advances a step and says it again.

Alona goes blank, she has never 

Seen John this upset.

Gently she puts Candys torso

Into the chair by the fireplace.

And then all hell breaks loose.

The police arrived to see the girl

Being threatened by the homeless man

And the missing torso to the head has been found.

Call off the dogs.

Who is going to jail tonight.

Not me, squeaks Alona.

By this time, they have the homeless man

On the ground and handcuffed.

John forgot to put on pants.

Before he left for his garbage binging

And well, he wasn't shaved and smelled 

It will be a while before he awakes.

He had to be tazed a few times

He kept protesting that it was his house

And his wife and would his sister in laws 

Stop playing a practical joke on him

Just put Candance back together.

Just put her back together.

It is not going to happen.

Says Gabriel who has come to visit

She is dead and buried.

They never did find out who did it.

Just get over it, Dad!

Who, How, Where

You have been in a mental ward.

For the last year and a half.

They said you were half lucid

I came to see if you remember

Anything at all about that night.

What night? Honey!

Guards!

I will see you again this month.

Bye, Gabriel flees.

She does not wander who did it

Everyone knows who did it.

It is just how it was done.

Somehow it was done

And nobody can make anything

Of it at all, because there is no evidence.

After a while, Alona 

Got accustomed to being in jail.

She was finally released 

Not because they thought she was innocent

But due to the fact that they have no evidence.

She will always be known as a the culprit

In the family and God knows 

Dad needs to remember

What happened. 

She knows whom not to talk 

That one who got put out

By them all, she just sits

And says nothing to them.

While she had her breakdown

All because dad said he had a pink slip.

How was she to know it meant marriage license.

There was hell in her eyes when it registered.

All those years of not being allowed 

To do anything at all, 

Not even vote for her own cousin

Much less, write a silly paper 

On nothing at all.

It was just art.

How could that hurt?

They say she was really working

Upstairs, her mother's uncle was a writer.

How the hell could they have known that.

Well, Gabriel had to learn to pick up the piece now.

With Alona out but the trial soon to start.

They need John to remember if she was in the house.

And oh my god, when they found her hidden stash.

Even Suzie was angry at all the stuff she had been doiong.

They say it could be almost anyone.

Candace had stuff on just about everyone 

And back before this guy named Nixon.

Now it was Gabriel and Gabreil

Unless Daddy wakes up one day from his drugs.

Meanwhile, Suzie curses Candy everyday

And spanks Alona every night.

What possessed you to pick up her body?

And where is that other one?

We all know who it is dont we?

Quietly it is the night before the vote.

All was not a quiet night in Washington.

But then she was not there either.

It does not matter anymore what she does.

Because she will always be blamed.

It will always be her fault.

Even if she is a thousand miles away.

Another year has passed.

And no one has come to her rescue.

They all promised

But then Candy went from sitting on the sofa

To answering the phone from anywhere.

No one knows anything about anything anymore.

It does not even matter who gets elected anymore.

They are all the same, once the press gets done with them.

Even the best come out smelling of onions

Instead of roses, they have even gotten a confession

Out of the other side, that yes it was them.

Not him, but them that altered the votes.

Jimmy always said he could elect the President

With his little finger, and Candace on the phone.

Extortion Extraordinaire!

How a wild teenager and terrible toddler

Got together and beet the entire world!