May explain something to you?
I notice you are leading the cause for women's rights for reproductive rights.
A woman should have the right over her own body.
In your office, you are dealing with abortions.
While it is true that a fetus has some rights to be born.
A woman also has a right to her own body.
For instance, being forced to have the baby of a rapist or a sibling.
Or endangering her own life.
My mother was always aghast on each pregnancy that she had to have it.
I tease my younger brothers who survived.
Havin been removed and raised elsewhere.
But the truth is she did not want them nor
Were her parents able to handle her illness towards having babies.
She was born just before the war.
Spoiled by the family on both sides.
Could not tolerate a rival
And her baby brother did disappear.
While the war raged, she was an only child.
She did not understand everything had to go back to normal.
She kept after her parents until they divorced.
Only to have each remarry and attempt to have a baby.
It drove her into a frenzy.
She was besides herself when she was a old enough
To have a marriage over having a baby.
In the days they did not explain things properly
She only knew that babies came with marriage.
She was forced to marry the boy she grew up torturing.
And then spend t her life denying she had given birth to me
Or my sister, instead we were mentally ill to believe
She was our real mother.
And then the boys came along
And in her mind, she just simply threw them away
It was not hated towards them as it was us girls.
She just did not want children nor
Could understand how not to have them.
She would not take her medicine or other things.
This brings us to my situation.
Hysterectomy
The removal of a female's organs
This is often done in order to keep a disease
From killing the woman
It is also done to keep women from having babies.
My mother was adamant I was not going to have a baby
She would tease me about each new baby that came along
That it was mine, even my sister began to bite me
Because she was angry that I was her mother
I was taking everything from her
And giving her nothing
And then she died when she was five.
Already the others had begun to show up
A child as a young as three being accused of having a baby
They are still coming up to me out of doors
I do recognize them but also know we have been to court
Over two hundred children believe I am their mother
And won't stop torturing me about the fact
That I can't remember it occurring
I am not mentally ill
I did not have a baby when I was three
Nor six or nine nor twelve
Or any other age as a matter of fact.
As I said I wanted to explain something.
My mother did not want me to have children
Because I survived as the first born.
She went so far as making people think
I was the one mentally ill
Instead of herself and she died of brain cancer.
So, it is hard to know what was really going on inside her head.
But she tried to have a hysterectomy performed
When I was just three because a baby
Was set down next to the car at a restaurant
Next to the phones in the old days
The woman was complaining to a man
About the newborn and what she was to do
Instead, my mother insisted it was mine
And tried to put me in a mental hospital
To have a hysterectomy performed
My grandmother was able to stop it from happening.
But the continued threat was present
Alex is her name by the way
One of the first of the little heroin addicts
They use heroin in order to control them
When they are little to get them to misbehave
It used to be prescribed in Germany for back pain
She is now a Master Chief on multiple shows
She has never stopped trying to control me
And gets in my face
Meanwhile her real mother has followed
Our family around through time
My father used to have a career
In Computers and engineering
Janet Untch is her name now
With a new husband
And a lost career as a girly dancer
Back to my story about my vagina
Yes, that word which is not allowed
In polite conversation
It is my vagina, my uterus
My body, my reproductive rights
To have or not to have
Is my right to decide
I am not trying to endanger a child
Or a newborn baby
As an adult I was careful
With myself
And according to my medical records
I have never been pregnant
It says nulliparous
What i have is tumors
Fibroids which develop
In a female body
And are not harmful
Unless they become cancerous
We do have women in the family
With Uterine cancer.
My mother began to have injections
Given to me to prevent me from having
A menstrual cycle
I was being kept from growing up
Or having a baby of my own
Really, she did not want me to marry
But of course, as a minor
I fought for my independence
And got married before I was 18
That is another stroy
And then I found my grandmother
At the bottom of the stairs
Of her apartment house
My freedom was not worth her death
Anad no one knows who did it
Just another closed case
Unknown assialant
Probably one of the little bastards
Wanting to have their way
Chasing her around to get her purse
It has been a sad life I lived
But I was not depressed just sad
my mother was committed
And put into institutions
Since I was little
This was so the boys
Would be taken away
From my father
Her demand to have her way
It was the problem
With the doctors
They thought she had the right
not to have babies
And took care of her mental issues
By making the rest of us bend
To her demands
Menopause is my current age
I have developed four tumors
Which are not cancerous
They are not endangering my life
Though they do cause embrassing
Situations from people thinking
I am pregnant in my fifties
To that need for a bathroom
Not being meet immediately
The question is after all I went through
Because she did not want babies
Why do I need get the right to make the decision
For myself?
I have gone through ten years now
Of discomfort and life altering
Decisions in work and housing
The doctors promised me a medical program
They would reduce them to a manageable size
Instead, I had a radiology event
Where all they had to do was stick a needle in my thigh
And then the drug would work like a weed killer
It would cut off the blood
And make the tumors smaller
What I had in that simple operation
Was more than abnormal
Amount of hate from the nursing staff
My scrub nurse found it necessary
To shave and undress me
And then i had the last minute
Blood transfusion man stand there
As I was being mildly sedated
What! I need blood for this procedure
No way, let me out of here.
I saw cameras flashing as they led me down to the operating room
I woke up being slapped by a young girl
Wake up, Wake up!
Throwing up is what I did for the next three hours
What did they give me?
And then I had the weird thing
Of a Chinses man showing up
In my room at three in the morning
Saying he was my husband
Yes, yes you don't remember
But I am your husband
That was the other thing
She was always arranging marriage
For me, I have a number of these thing as well
Unknown men whom I haven to slept with
But want to walk up to me
When I am speaking to someone important
Or take my wallet and my bank account
I have been swindled so many times
All due to a woman not having the right
Over her own body
A woman does not have the right
If the man wants an abortion
Or the baby to be born
Or to her having a hysterectomy
This brings me to my old enemy
Jimmy, who has been stalking
My family since my sister was little
He insists they got married
He was the son in law
The Brother in law
Anad later the daddy
Or the husband
He interfered with my doctor appointmenst
Since I was young
And has continued to have the right
To go behind my back
And have the nurses be mean
About weight gain
Isn't it against the law
To demand a woman be weighed
Before she can have medical treatment?
I am still having this situation
And the now the doctor
Tells me that I have a goiter
And have nonfunctioning thyroid
I have always had thyroid problems
But now there is nothing i can do
Even going without food
Still causes me to gain weight
Despite this I am not as large
As my mother became nor others
But the nurses won't stop being
Stupid about this way of controlling
The medical appointment
I spent the Pandemic
Being quarantined four times
My asthma is so severe
That the doctor says no anesthesia
Which is causing problems with my dental
Here I am between being in locked down
Going around on public transport
To all of these gynecology appointments
They have explored every type
Of ways of knowing what is inside
After more than 36 months
There is nothing in their alive
Except perhaps a dinosaur egg!
Anyways I was told I had to have
MRI's and ultrasounds
repeatedly during the stay at home
Period of the pandemic
They had another option
Called the MRI_FUS
It shrinks the tumors down
Through radiation therapy
Three years later they know
Tell me there is no such machine
In the entire large city
OF which I reside
Someone lied to me
Don't you think?
That I had to go to these imaging places
And now the only answer
Is to be gutted out!
I want my ovaries to stay with me.
I like being female and not unisex
I have no reason to have my uterus
Removed and donated to some else to play
Within the back wings of the hospitals
Where they don't show nurses dancing with doctors
But do other things not for description
What happened?
Did I get too old?
Or were they never going to give me
Real medical treatment?
The doctor is beginning to sweat
And I want to file a malpractice
Suit against the womens case management
Who have been handling the situation
And no amount of dieting is going
To make these things go away either.
I have been to at least six doctors
Gynecologist who specials in women's health
After they say this and that
The answer is always the same
Hysterectomy
But it is not necessay
It was the Victorians you know
Nancy who began to gut women
This way the men who could not get a divorce
For any other reason
Could complain they were being kept
From their reproductive rights
In other words, they wanted a younger woman.
My last doctor began the discussion
At this point I am being put down as uncooperative
Which means they want me to have a mental evaluation
Then she simply told me something else
Sterilization!
Yes, she actual said sterilzation.
They have a new therapy
It is an injection
Which will sterilize a woman
Causing her theatrically
To lose her femaleness
She will go to the end of menopause
No longer menustrate
And those tumors are supposed
To cooperate and finally shrink
I don't believe it myself.
I know about statistics
And group managements
For instance, there is really
Not much difference between
Plant based medicines
And herbal supplements
Except the size of income
Of pharmaceutical companies
So here I am after hemmoraging
On Amtrak trains attempting
To get something down about my life
Being stolen through identity theft
To not being able to go to far
Away from a bathroom.
Being told their only answer
Is to keep me from breeding.
I am also part Native American
My father not my mother.
Which is why the blond, blue eyes
Boy named Jimmy had such influence
On my mother and her friends
My war hero father and I have no friends.
What am I supposed to do?
It is my right to my own body.
My right to medical treatment
I do not need mental health
And yet my housing is endangered
And my neighbors make comments
About my food choices
And I still can't get into a government
Office to find out why someone is selling
Off the childhood toys of my siblings
At good will stores.
I have the right as a woman
To decide it is a medical issue not mental
not to have a self-assigned female
To make it difficult for me everywhere I go
Giving the impression I might
Have had a nervous breakdown
Which is not a crime nor permanent
Meanwhile, I have too much interest
In my daily activities
While not being able to breath
When is it going to end?
The ways the laws are provide by people
Such as yourself
And the way the medical clinics
Don't break the law
And allow individuals not to be controlled by others?
By the way that little incident
In you neighborhood
Atherton is one of the places we once lived
That car that was buried
Is similar to one my mother used
When she drove little Alex around
And I thought her daddy must be a bad
Guy from the way her mother behaved
And needing to know where we were located
Besides there is nothing to know
About a dead murder and fraud expert
Except look at another swindler and possible killer.
Please accept my apologies
If my story is too graphic
But it is meant for all women
To have the right to make
Decisions for themselves.
That includes you as well, you know.
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