Wednesday, October 19, 2022

Is someone trying to send me a message or something?

 



First there was the black widow in my room.

Then there is the spot in front of my door.

It is supposed to be a dog accident.


Then there was the light out in the hallway

The only one in front of my door.

And now there is this black spot.


On the street I reside.

All the lights are out.

Over two dozen 


In this one stretch 

Where there are residence buildings

And a rural or highway environment


Which means except for the building lights

There are no lights on the street

And at six am waiting for the first bus


To come along creeping slowly

To make sure he does not miss a stop

Nor cause a splat of a human being.


It is Halloween dark out there!

What is a person to do?

Think pranks are being played?


Or some sort of special treat

Is in store from her least favorite

Person named Jimmy!


What more can this guy do to me?

Especially with convictions

And non real identification.


He can't possibly have enough

power to put out the streetlights.

Or does he have enough


People working for him 

To even put the lights out 

In a foreign country?


I remember the whole east coast

Going dark and there he was sitting

At a workstation as a teenager.


Just playing around with the console

Some idiots had left it on 

When he went to the bathroom


And did not come back.

A storage closet had words

For him but not heard in time.


All Hallows eve

Is just around the corner

Not enough time 


To pay the county bill

Or whatever has caused 

A couple of blocks 


Of lights not to light

And then there will be 

All soul's day


The Day of the Dead

Is more about the resurrection

Those who believe in religion


The one day everyone dies

And the next one they get to rise

Metaphorically through the Catholic Mexicans


Creepy for some

Others are even more concerned 

About their dead loved ones


And hold anniversaries

Or quiet vigils of the day

Such as today


I cant sleep

Was going to wait 

Until tonight to do something


Special for my two lost ones

My father and his father

Died on the same day three years apart


It was a shock when grandpa

Went he was not too old

And suddenly he was gone


With a bad heart 

Having survived his own youth

And then gone off to university


And home to work on the Manhattan

Project while his wife died 

And his son stolen and then raised


By his own brother-in-law

Whose wife had no child of her own

He could remarry which he did


But was not sure if any of those girls

Were his own flesh.

His life was filled with everything


He left a whole in our hearts

But not the ones who did not want to share

Him with the first family


So, my father and I were sad

And then Jimmy went after him

Everywhere he was located


Was not safe

He hired nonrelatives

To show up and falsely claim


That they were the owners 

Or the residents

Or even that he was not whom he wsa


That was so much fun

Jimmy started having him 

Stolen from hospital rooms


My father was a war hero

Who had a bad heart condition

And eyesight problems


I kept chasing around the world

And finally gave up my own career

As my father had given up his engineering


In order to take care of family

But then there were those girls

Who had been raised to claim


To be the real daughter

Instead of me just like

Now I have girls like Denise


Insist they look more like 

My own grandmother 

Then I do myself!


How much can this guy throw at me?

Anyways the sad story 

Is that Jimmy actually caught


My father sleeping at my house

Instead of somewhere else

And chained him down to the ground


Just like my dog had to by 

Because he kept running away

According to Jimmy


Who had to come to live 

With us against his parents

Intentions and court orders


That is when my father moved out

And my grandparents decided

They had enough with their own daughter


She did have brain cancer

But her lack of reasoning 

Was intolerable


She told me not to go near him

But when I saw him standing 

And had been missing for a few days


It's a good thing I kept a blanket

In the back of the car

In case the car broke down


Jimmy flicked his wrist

And my father burst into flames

My screams I am told could be heard


All the way downtown

Between pounding the flames

And protecting myself


And then cutting the chains

And dragging him to the car

While watching them do a dance


Just out of my reach

Those kids who always showed up

Acting as if they were interested


Instead of being paid to entertain

I don't believe my mother 

Ever had a real friend at any time


Or the few who wanted to be nice

Were chased away

While three generations kept watch


And for what

There is nothing once one knows

That the authorities are aware


They just did not have enough evidence

It was me sitting there watching him

That got them to believe it had not happened


Instead, I was guarding the woman

Who had not known herself 

What it would be to see him do it


Jimmy even had the Troths 

Show up like trolls

To keep him from the hospital


Finally, backup came to the rescue

But it was too late for anything

But a life of morphine from the pain


And complete rest for him

He was being cared for by a few

Who did care and were frightened


Florida was the answer I got 

To find him a safe place

And then the storm hit 


Not a hurricane but still fierce

It was me being removed 

By the authorities


And the different girls who 

We're pretending to be me

That went by to visit him


That still leads me to believe

It was not an accident 

He died on the same day


As his father who had 

Just returned from one 

Of his trips oversees


Ralph liked to see his old friends

Just to make sure there was not 

Going to be an accident.


Which is what did happen

And here we are again

With a nuclear catrastrophy


Waiting to happen again.

Growing up with men

Who are smarter than most


But always under siege

Did they ever have enough?

Of life to enjoy themselves


To make it worth it!

The short life they had.

Should they have been given 


A chance to keep their deaths 

From happening by actually

Following through with the court orders.


Or simply putting Jimmy

Out of his misery. 

And maybe my mother 


Would not have been so bad

When she could not understand,

Anymore what her brain 


Was not functioning.

And just wanted her way

With us all.


Despite it being wrong

Maybe,

Life never will be the same.


Without them in it,

Or Jimmy still in it.

Who should I blame?


Not God

It is not his fault.

But his ministers 


Who keep on speaking 

And sitting, 

But not completing their tasks.


How can one sit and watch 

A known rapist gets on stage.

Or live with a murder on the lose?








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