Saturday, March 25, 2023

Hey, who likes his chow mein home delivered?

 



Look, Mortensen!

Your Greenbook movie may not have won you an award,

But your KFC moment made it to Beijing!


Our little scurry around the world

With various leaders taking sides

Over a ridiculous land border dispute


President Xi from China

Arrived in Moscow to speak to President Putin

And so did a massive order of the Colonels infamous chicken


Whom do you imagine flew these guys 

To Moscow? Or do they still have a KFC?

All the Mac Donalds have been shut down.


Maybe that was the problem

No Big Macs were available!

Well, someone got more than Chow mien


Those bags must have contained

Side orders of corn on the cob

And mash potatoes with gravy


No one goes into a restaurant. 

And just orders the main course.

Wonder Mr. Mortensen


If Vladimir got his fingers greasy

Eating your Kentucky fried Chicken?

What else can we believe...


Certainly, Xi shared at least one of those bags

After all he got special ordered ice cream 

As his treat from Putin which he brought with him


Best Friends in the east 

Must keep each other in good 

On those forbidden western delights.


Good thing you are not politically inspired

With all you acclaim 

And Academy nomination.


Some actors pull a lot of punch

Out of just one scene

Others just go on blithy


With their little award

Gently sitting it down 

To view and consider 


How much more work 

They need to do next time.

Then there are the Jims of the world


I remember Merv Griffin

Could not get the kid from showing up

All the time on his show


He asked him one night

What are you famous for?

He was famous for not being famous


Or not having done anything at all.

Except be on his fathers show his entire life.

But that was not good enough for him.


He had to start showing up on park benches

Like in an old spy movie

Just waiting for the woman with the buggy


To go by him with the little girl

Whose face was on the Gerber can

He is so easily obsessed about things


A sweet little award to a woman

Whose mother was well known

While she had waited too long


To get married to her childhood sweetheart

Who came home from the Korean war

They had bad luck the first time


A dead born resulting in a court case

Then a few years later a miracle

Which was given a small cameo


For the sake of the woman 

Who was already having a breakdown

From enduring the emotion of bringing a life 


Into the world.

She could not go to any park

It seemed without the little monster showing up


It ruined her day 

And put fear into her mother.

Who was he and why was he stalking therm.


I never have figured out who the woman

Was who pointed him in our direction

But he has never stopped harassing us


Even taking our name for himself

He raided all of our homes and bank accounts

With his parents gone he has ridden into


Hollywood as if he is an achiever 

Instead of a liar 

Telling everyone he is someones manager


Not allowed with out his permission

We have gone to court 

He has been told he is not my husband 


As well as my manager

He wont stop acting as if he has good

Intentions towards me


But instead enjoys himself 

At others expense 

Which is why he is court ordered 


To see a psychologist every day

Instead has given people the impression 

He is a doctor which they somehow believe.


Now not a single place has not been raided.

Nor any items left remaining 

But they show up in the most amazing places


Recently this place that has given me a roof

But not personal freedom

Was giving out bags of clothes to everyone


I looked at mine 

And inside were clothes 

I remember buying some time ago


Old Navy is a standby

And their stuff does not go out of style.

There were many items inside.


It is odd how a non profit organization

Has so many flaws in it

They have strict policies


About privacy and yet wont stop

The constant barrage of information

That passes on to other clients


Who are sitting around and acting

As if they are going to devour you

Alice is one of those from the old days


I remember her father when he showed up

A German American who brought home

An Italian wife with problems


Half of her kids are blonde like him 

And then there are the few who are retarded.

I remember Jimmy being very friendly with this family


He got upset about the retarded Alice

Screaming and calling down hell upon us

He always went into one of his maniacs mode


When he wanted his way

They now control most of the old places

Up north but still show up south


Wanting more and more

While Alice cant get out of my face

If I find my face on her phone


I am going to send her to prison

I have told her repeatedly 

Not to photograph me but still she does


I don't care what they want 

We signed agreements for no pictures to be taken

We also signed that no outsiders would have access 


To our rooms and yet he has been here

I also understand my suitcases are up for grabs

If anything should happen to me.


I can hear Candace talk about me

His best friend

Any death certificate that come out


Will have her name on it.

But which husband should we list?

She has had so many of them


And as for Jimmy his real name

Will have to be used

And his cause of death 


With be decapitation 

How else are we going to get his mouth

To stop speaking


I can still feel him talking

To me even when he is not around

I am beginning to talk out loud


Shut up!

Stop bugging me.

It is very annoying


But at least I know 

I have been cleared of mental health issues

Despite his wife Rebeccas insistence 


On sitting down and one more time

Stressing me out with her nonsense

I recall she was indicted twenty year ago


For showing up at different Kaisers

Insisting the patient was only imaging

Being ill with no real symptoms


But my mother died of brain cancer

Eighty percent of her brain was gone

And it was not from eating KFC.


I hope Xi enjoyed his indulgence

And even Putin had a chance

To get even with Americas sanctions


I still can not believe 

I have to buy vodka 

Made in Texas!


Really, Mr. Biden

On your next trip 

Could you pick me up some contraband?







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