The day I found out ...

 

There always those days 

When you just don't feel things

Are quite right in the universe

Than there is the day one 

Finds out that your boyfriend.

Wants to eat you!

I come from a modest set 

Of grandparents some of whom

Were war heroes and others 

Could have done more than

Take care of family instead

The first time I saw this kid

Was in the arms of a prostitute

She was a Reno fish stocking 

Girl who got caught by the wrong guy

Ended up pregnant and escaped the obvious

Abortion by running into a crowd of 

Cattlemen association conventioneers

They serve a great steak in Reno

It brings in a lot of innocent ones 

Who believe that except for a few carts

There are no other places to eat

But inside the casinos.

My family were those who

Did know how to play cards

But those gambling places

Were not their style 

Nor was the girl squeezing herself

Into the car as it drove down the street

They took to a hospiatl where someone

Was dumb enough to show up

And ask her to marry him

Some guys just want an offspring

Not caring where it comes from

And so one summer day she arrived.

At our coastal ranch where we actually worked

With a red-haired baby and a sad tale

My family had connections to the old world

She was not going to fit in nor was she welcomed

She ran off and joined a cult for a while

The Charles Mansion guru years

She got a trip to India 

While the brat was taken care of 

By grandma, if asked the girl

Was inside sacrificing her youth

When in fact for two years

She ran around the world

Then she had to come home

To face the music 

A quick spanking awaited 

The redhaired boy 

Who did not turn out to be prettty

Enough to pass as a girl 

Nor was she going back

To that working ranch in the  mountains

Every year Peter B would visit

The ski sloped around the same area

And an old man would watch him

Perhaps believing he was his son

Maybe just taking care of his ward

They had lots of money given to them

They did not need our money

But they wanted it as well

Steve whom she married in a outdoor

Seventies wedding with the locals

Never being provided the truth

About the French speaking nanny type

But one day when I go caught

Being blue it was presumed

I needed to be taught a lesson

By my mother who only 

Encountered women who  kept 

After her for having a family

Who could travel to Europe

This because they had relatives

And that is where the banks 

Were located as well

The would have their fruit and nuts

Grown on their own place

Delivered then receive their dues

In a timely fashion over there

Meanwhile, my sister had died

And I was in shock most of the time

I was still small enough for it to matter

Also that horrible boy Shawn

Had shown up instead of the boys

Who were hiding out with grandpa

There it sat the red tricycle

The boys were the owners of it

But no it had to go to the horrible 

Red hair boy who was 

Now living down the street

With his younger blond brother

And a happy couple 

He screamed at me 

When we arrived and my father

Took the bike out of his truck

I preferred the truck to the car

As it meant Jimmy would not come

Til he found out about it 

Then we could not keep him out of it

That day he was missing

But down the street she came

Running with a baby stroller

He had gone to her to find

A way to have his way with this family

"his family"  he called us but we were not

She also  had a little girl 

How fair is it to be faced

With a small female child

I was trying to show the thing

How to ride the bike

But he screamed at me again

He did not want my help 

Nor want me near him

I put one foot down on the too small

Tricycle and did a loop in front of the house

The men laughed 

She is showing you how to do it

He kept trying to repeat 

The foot technique but was too small

Younger than me by more than a few years

She showed up and bent down to him

He had to have her explain everything

Than she saw his bike came with 

Long pink strands like they used to have

On the bikes in those days

Trailers that flowed past the rider

As they picked  up speed

I had seen them but had not gotten

To removing them yet waiting 

For my fathers permission

They were hers of course

She loved pick and I would not have 

Been allowed to have the bike

Although I do remember a red fire engine

I used to peddle Flintstone style

Anyway, they were shocked 

We were attempting to  make fun of him

She tore them off and threw them in the trash

It was a bad scene for all of us

Finally, it was agreed upon 

That he could keep the bike

And I was invited to a birthday party

The little bastard had a birthday 

Coming up in June

That is when I found out

We went to the same school

My mother had moved me back to the first grade

I kept pasing the exams but she would not hear 

Of it at all that I was going to move ahead

My sister had been kept at home

She had not learned to read

Til that last year when were going to school

Together where I was reading since i was at least three

She had to start over in the first grade

While i went to special courses 

To come back and wait for her 

To learn to read instead she cried

Almost all day long

Everyone was trying to get  her

Past that stage where she could

Keep up with the rest of us

My mother had breakdown

She could not tell us apart

Then she could not get over her death

Than she would not let  me be me

But instead I had to be her for her

Now i had a new problems

While I was waiting for someone

To release me from the first grade

For the rest of my life

I ran into it on the playground

Someone had said I had a boyfriend

In the first grade that was the end!

There he was in an enclosure

Like a dog not allowed to leave

He kept throwing his ball 

Over the side making me run for it

Until I got tired of the joke.

That is when she showed up 

With her little girl at school

She was insane enough 

To go around to all the school officials

About how I had left the baby crying

On a bench that she had to rescue it

It was my baby and I was not even tall enough

To get on the ferries wheel yet

But some women are stupid

She wanted child support for the girl

Then she wantead food stamps

And a new house

And trips to the east coast

And, well the list went on

They also showed up in the same town

When I was dragged back 

From Paris where I was going

To college, instead I had to repeat

Highschool over and over again

For the sake of my mother mind

One day she would do one thng

And another day something else

This time she had told me I could

Play the violin again 

It was okay, really it was

I had played since i was two

Got invited to Juilliard

Only to have it cause problems 

For someone else

Jimmy got hold of the instrument

Insisted on going on stage himself

Then just sat there holding it in his lap

Not knowing how to play

Just not wanting me to  play

So, I was not allowed to play

This time she said I could

We had found the old thing

It sounded great and I was beginning

To breathe again then it happened

Jimmy came to town

He was not supposed to come near us again

But there he was smiling and jerking his head

In that stupid fashion of his

He wanted to live with us 

But the law would not allow him

Near me while I was in my adolescent

He could not handle blood

From women during the moth

His own mother could not 

Bleed around him nor was

Anyone supposed to get pregnant

Around him either.

There he was and I had called 

Grandpa to come and see her 

They showed up to escort me

To the little school concert

Steve was a juvenile convict

He did not tell you that

But he was really strict

He decided I was not to play

In any shcool things

Which made my mothers uncle mad

When i went to visit him at headquarters

Peter B made the mistake

Of suddenly being insterested in me

And smiling he took the violin 

Out of my hands for him to carry

I knew trouble right there and then

I made it clear to my relatives

He was not my boyfriend

His family were the ones who caused

Trouble and then that birthday party

The sister-in-law showed up with a new infant

Which she said she took out of the garbage can

Where she found it and I had thrwon it away

We had all heard her in labor yelling

It was hers no doubt about it

But extortioners are never convinced

They will not be believed.

They had been sent away

Idaho had seemed right for these people

They were back and  had found the one guy

In all of Idaho who was related to us.

Grandma showed up and took care of things

Then she disappeared 

Back to Los angles 

Where they wanted her to get

Them involved with the shows

Eventually they all had a chance to work

Backstage as Hollywood workers

Even Brent popped his ugly head up

In fact, the two boys became best friends

Brent had already done a lot of bad things

With that dead body in the trunk story

But here we all were in the same place

And they decided they wanted to go

To church with us as well

We lost our car first

It was stolen by their friend

Then they could control when

And where we went

Then they kept telling people

That I was Peters girlfriend

We had a number of arguments

Then they hired this weird woman

Who was already eighteen 

And an adult to show at school

Harassing me about being her girlfriend

I went to court, moved, woke up in hospitals

Or worse sometimes while I went to work

For the federal government

That did a lot of good 

Greedy people who cant stand 

Seeing someone else getting anything at all

National Park guide 

Forestry fire fighter

Not east jobs but they wanted them

Then was the day I overheard them talking?

By tis time my grandmother was dead

They were talking to about the end of the world

My mother could not handle things

Teeling her she might have to surviv

By eating the left overs

The Donner party and cannibalism

Where in the news at the time

As was the talk of Armegeddon

And Nuclear holocaust

She was being told she might have to

I heard him clearly say it outloud

Camille must taste good!

Peter was discussing the idea

That if thre was a time

Others were giving themselves permission

To eat those of us who were not going to live

It was already determined I would not be alive

He had already eaten through my grandparents larder

While his mother kept after me for food stamps

I took her to the food banks since she had a large family

But that was not the problem

He simply did not like me

I did not even eat pizza but salads.

I was a natural food freak

I had allergies that sent me to the emergency room

What did he know about it anyways?

Idaho must serve roadkill. 

Of both the varmints and humankind

I was not surprised

As I said he was not my boyfriend

But was influencing my mother in a bad way

Then the woman who was now 25 

Walked into a classroom. 

Sat down and started talking about one of those books

None of these people understood literature.

Not Shakespeare nor the bible

She announced that my left ass was hers

She meant it that she was going to eat it!

The school official's had been warned

But no one really paid attention to anything.

Jimmy had developed a hate group, again.

Brent went around bragging,

Charbroiled was a word 

I heard a lot as a young person

Barbeques were always a challenge

With the smirking girls and rude boys

Preselected as their sacrifice.

The day I found out

That my families religion 

Was not going to do anything 

About the ones who came inside

Took up precious seats

Wasted everyone's time 

Embellzelled from everyone 

Because they could not do anything.

It would all work out in the end.

Somedays there is nothing to do.

Other days it is time to stand up

And run as far as one can.

But then they just show up anyways.

I survived the Pandemic on my own.

Only to find them sniffing around me again.

Jimmy did tell me from his mouth

He plans to eat me!

Everyone laughed at him.

They did not believe him.

I never intended to marry Peter B.

But he always intended to make me his victim.

How many times did I hear his father

Talk about a human sacrifice!

It is not supposed to be literal

But then some people never get

To join a group that they cant live with nor without.

Myself, I expect to be an escape artist, the rest of my long life.