I was dreaming again last night

 

Opening line of Rebecca

"I dreamed again last night."

Of Manderley....

The Winters estate in the film

And book it was adapted from

Had a beautiful old house 

Which was set on fire by a witch

Cousins married but only one 

Was the true heir 

She did everything she could 

To him even though his wife

And then set the place on fire

When she learned she was dying

Not her inheritance but she just wanted

It so much she had married a man she did not love

Jimmy for some reason

Has been after our little seaside.

Property which value was the fruit trees

He stooled the horses or killed them.

Destroyed the orchards. 

He even pulled up the antique roses. 

All so he could build a Hilton.

Where it wont be allowed to be 

In order to satisfy himself

In doing a good job 

In taking down a fine family

Who were once wealthy enough

But not would famous 

Nor even in a state of power

They were just original inhabitants.

He just could not understand.

The Hollywood boy

That he could not move in on someone.

Like they did there in Los Angeles 

Where everyone dreamed of making it big

And ripping it out from under them

He thought of destroying those more talented

Then himself, or more handsome or more capable

Whatever it was he was spoiled rotten

By his parents and did not care nor understand

She spoiled him and gave in to him

Until even she began to be afraid of him

His own mama and then she died 

Of a massive heart attack 

When she found out what he had done.

His father would then get him back

Overly strict due to his job 

Of being a Kids show captain

He had to make it look real

He knew his kid was bonkers

And set him to the mental wards

As often as he needed because

He would not stop playing 

With little girls dolls

And stealing their underwear

What could he possibly do with underwear?

A lot of harm 

An entire world lost their beacon of hope

He just had to interfere one more time

I was 39 years old 

And size zero for some reason

I entered Menopause early because of it

Only to have it last more than a decade

I was a late bloomer 

But always had horrible pain 

And headaches 

Faced with tumors growing

Where they out nought to be

Almost as if someone had planted them

I would not put anything past him

He has a way of getting nurses and lab techs

To sign their lives over to a jail cell

I kept finding needle marks

Then my thyroid stopped functioning

Then my abdomen grew overnight

As if someone had inserted a balloon

By this point I could not eat

Without vomiting or worse

Fast forward

I sought help in my hometown

Not my mothers place of play

He just kept showing up 

And having me removed 

Every time I had a treatment plan

I would wake up with a really bad 

Headache and a place I did not know

It could have been worse but I was just too sick

To have everyone keep playing this game

Then he hired Janet P

To come after me with needles

She would steal my food 

And my wallet every time I went out

Starving inside was not an option

Because then her aunt Candace would show up

It was a horrible carousel ride with no end

I went for several examinations.

One was signing me up to get a MRI-FUS reduction

They zap your tumors down to size

Better than the chemicals they fill your body with

I am still nauseated from the other thing 

But it was going in for an ultrasound.

A locked door in a training hospital

He let himself in and sat down

While the doctor had me on the board

I closed up like a clam

Making the doctor very unhappy

He called the cops on me

I still had some of his tools 

I screamed until the forced Jimmy

Outside into the hallway

Then I let the doctor have his things

But noticed my underwear was missing

As I attempted to get dressed

Sweaaiting bullets the doctor did not know waht to do

He knew I needed treatment

But he man wanted to have control of the situation

He is not even a relative nor is he my husband

And it is my body to do what I want

He wants a hysterectomy. 

I am not giving hm my ovaries

You don't understand

This guy even took my eyes out of the sockets

I am missing other things 

But he could not get those eggs

Buried deep inside

Besides I don't have cancer

They escorted me to a side door

To avoid the cops in the hallway

Where I could have gotten my panties back

But instead Candace and her niece Janet

Where waiting for me to jab me 

Prevent me from having any memory 

Of jimmy getting rough with me again

He showed up repeatedly 

Wherever I went for supper

With nicely dressed people

Waving a dirty pair of underwear

At first I could not figure out how he got them

It is hard to explain in a fancy restaurant

Even to those who have known 

You sine you were a small child

Much less a man who is actually showing real interest

Why this idiot is waving a pair of panties

In front of your face while you go frigid 

How many times has he done this to me

He has always kept after me about being 

My little daddy who is not going to allow me

Which is why his daddy made it certain

Then he died suddenly when it was not certain

How he died but too late to take care of jimmy

How many examinations do I have to have

The report said I was uncomfortble

That is putting it mildly

I just want the damn things taken care of

If I have to have surgery 

There will be three rules

No jimmy in the room at all

Under any circumstances

That includes any females of his

No blood as he likes to use his own

I have woken up with him draining his blood

Into my veins and this from a guy

Who does not give anything away

No misunderstandings about the procedure

If I am missing anything at all

Heads will roll and no sorry's

I don't have my own nose

Because of one of those mistakes

I have a nose but not the one I was born with.

I was dreaming again 

Of women getting treated by doctors

For their problems and not the man

Who claims he for his own

It is my body and my insurance

Which is paying the doctors student loans

I was dreaming again that woman practioners

Actually, cared about other women

Instead of impressing the men in the field

Sitting there as tiny queens in the occupation

My families name was once on that building

It has been replaced by a Jewish family

Of Jacobs not bad people

But I was trained since i was little 

In the sciences and introduced by a man 

In the field who thought I was a good candidate

For the advancement of women

I might have been but I prefer 

My bodies not living and yelling at me

Archeology was my preferred study

I ended up in the Morgues most of the time

Dead and gone they were

Except that one that came up out of the bed

To strangle me named Jimmy

He even snuck into my laboaratoy

And it was filled with dead bodies

Creepy bastard does not even come close

I got my degree in forensics. 

Somewhere there is a happy doctor

Playing god with my degree

Not noticing that it does not say

MD as in medical doctor

But ME as in examiner

I was draming agaoin of going home

To my families homestead

They worked hard at getting it 

And then keeping it 

Only to have in laws and step families

Take it over 

Entering it without our consent 

Then throwing away everything

I would at least like to be allowed

To examine the contents before they tear down the building

I have two dreams of my "Manderley"

One is going home and all the old friends.

Arrive for the first time in decades

As most of my family have been killed off

The other one is that it has also been torn down

Leaving those buried on the grounds

To rise up and kill me for not protecting the place.

I have no husbands 

Just an old business partner 

That jimmy got rid of a long time ago.

I have no daughters

Even the one I attempted to adopt

Ran away a long time ago 

From the constant abuse by Jimmy

I cant have children and am still barren

Although my own mother did steal 

And egg or two when I had my kidney transplant

No one knows what she did with them

But I have my suspicions  

That is another story 

Because I am going to start 

Chopping off heads of any girl

Who calls me mama

Introduces me to their little brats

Or introduces themselves to any one who might

Be related or a friendly towards me.

They dont understand that I am serious

And within the law of not being stalked by them

As well as Jimmy and his little hoard of horrors.

As for my romance it went sour

Who wants to eat an excellent dinner

With the image of those panties 

Swirling through the air?

One day when I wake up 

Jimmy will no longer by living

Nor will Candace or anyone of those people

By the way, one of my family names is Winters...